Bear Blog Most Recent Posts

The Art of Just Starting

hidden (yordi) — Sat, 04 Apr 2026 17:48:28 +0000

This morning started ordinarily enough. Coffee, then a look at the balcony, overdue for its yearly spring cleanup. I've had years where I cursed myself on the first warm day for not sorting out my only outdoor space sooner. Nothing more annoying than wanting to enjoy the sunshine with nowhere good to sit.

This year I was on time.

Once the balcony was done, I was in a flow. Out came a bucket, a sponge, and half an hour later the windows on the front of the apartment were clear again.

It's funny how you can dread these kinds of chores, yet once you've started, you can't stop. Music on, gaze into infinity, just do the thing. Like a hurdle race where only the first obstacle feels awkward. After that, the rest comes easy. As if you've done nothing else your whole life.

I need a time machine to skip those first few minutes. That would be really helpful.

I think I made a mistake (& more)

hidden (folkmoss) — Sat, 04 Apr 2026 17:46:11 +0000

Last edited 7 minutes ago.

I think I made a mistake. I posted something and too many people clicked on it. lol

That wasn't the plan.

You'd think there's no harm in that, but that post is not what this blog is about, and now I'm afraid there's ppl following my RSS expecting me to always talk about indie web stuff and, girls (gender-neutral)... What I do here is mostly brood and grieve. Sometimes I overthink. From time to time I mention my tech journey as a mere ~~mortal~~ normie. There's truly not a lot you can take from this other than some cool links I find here and there.

There's better and more knowledgeable people to follow if you're looking to keep up with internet stuff (take a look at my Blogroll, for starters), I promise. I'm just here for the anonimity and my 2000s urge to blog bc nobody understands meeee [screams in teenage angst].

So, yeah, just an FYI: don't expect anything from this blog other than random internet things and personal word vomit.

Read on for random.

Fanfics

In other news, last Tuesday I spent seven hours reading fanfiction. Not a joke, just a fact.

I think that's the first time that happens ever since I was, what? A teenager in school?

Not sure what that means.

Actually, that's a lie. I do know what that means. Life's been pretty tough and removing myself from reality is unfortunately my default self-preservation mode. Not healthy or recommended at all, but something I do since I was a small child. You'd think I'd have more self-control as a grown ass woman in her late thirties, and I thought that too... Until last Tuesday.

Back in December/January I started reading fanfiction again (it's Shannon Chakraborty's fault) after maaaany years not even touching the stuff. And then Tuesday happened (different fandom tho).

I've been trying to rationalize this and I might write an entire post overanalyzing it, so stay tuned for that (or not).

Men

I can't remember why, but this thought has been in my head for a few weeks now, so I'm just gonna go ahead and share it. Please don't come for me.

I wish cis men experienced female friendship. Not from women, but from other men. As in, men having amongst themselves a little bit of the dynamic of female friendships. It's pretty sad to watch how most of them have never experienced deep hugs, hand holding, sleeping on the same bed feeling comfortable in your skin and in the company you have outside of a romantic relationship.

When I think of myself deprived of platonic physical affection like that, well... I get pretty upset. Can't imagine what it'd be like to never have the comfort of this type of relationships.

The world would be a little better if dudes had more of that, I think.

Hear me out: maybe the companion subgenre for Female Rage in fiction should be Male Comfort. (And here's a great reading list if you're unfamiliar with the concept.)

That's Not A Hat

Inspired by a few Smosh videos, I bought the game That's Not A Hat. I'm pretty excited to play it with my friends and sister. It's gonna be a real challenge for me I think, and I should definitely take my ADHD meds before playing it, but it looks like a hoot!

Tomorrow is gonna be the day I put this bad boy to the party game test.

The Days

The days here have been weird. Since I came back home, I guess. I feel weird in my body and in my clothes. The weather is cloudy when it shouldn't be, but it's stuffy and I'm always sweaty. I'm second guessing everything that runs through my mind.

I don't know, girls. I might need to go back to therapy. Shame I can't afford it lmao.

it's roly-poly year

hidden (symliadoo) — Sat, 04 Apr 2026 17:41:21 +0000

I noticed a few years ago that every spring we're invaded by a new type of seasonal bug.
usually we get the occasional spiders, stink bugs, and ants, but last year we got house centipedes, the year before that was crickets, and the year before that, I got an infestation of stink bugs that was only central to my room (somehow).

this year, it seems that it's roly-polies. I've seen a few here and there, but considering the weather has been fluxuating from 70+ degree weather to 40 degrees and back, they're not consistent.

ever since last year when I started seeing house centipedes (and we had an unfortunate stint with pantry beetles from bringing in invested grains), I started investing in a trap and release method over killing them, alongside trying to study what bug it was and what threat it would actually pose (which for pantry beetles, could be a lot).

I have had really bad insectophobia (and greater arachnophobia) outside of certain bugs all my life. I've also unfortunately had the experience of living in an old house that gets a wide variety of 'visitors' depending on the season or circumstance. this has boded terribly as we've experienced a fair amount of infestations outside of bugs just existing in the space, which has only exacerbated the anxiety.

I say all this to say, I'm both happy that I've gotten better at trapping and releasing and that we have less scary looking bug this year. after last year with the centipedes, this'll be a walk in the park.

though... I'm not looking forward to seeing the spiders, no matter how much I know about their temperament. except bold jumping spiders. I might be enamored with those ones.

The Last Ringmaster

hidden (schlarb) — Sat, 04 Apr 2026 17:40:00 +0000

FlicFilm Aurora 800 +1 / Nikon Coolscan / SmartConvert / Canon 70-200mm EF

Pemerintah skill issue seperti biasa

hidden (derbyrumero) — Sat, 04 Apr 2026 17:20:46 +0000

Gua ga bakalan terkejut kalo pemerintah punya "skill issue" kalo main Republik Kentang. Ya kan gua ga liat. Gua cuma ngasih order buat ngasih Verified ke pemerintah. Yang main bukan gua, tapi pemerintah itu sendiri. Kalo "skill issue" ya skill issue-nya bukan di gua.

Tapi serius gua ga tau nih gimana mainnya pemerintah kalo main Republik Kentang. Gua sih expect mereka joged-joged ga jelas gitu ya wkwk

Biasalah..

debate culture fucked everything up

hidden (absurdpirate) — Sat, 04 Apr 2026 17:18:38 +0000

I sometimes wonder where the hell we went wrong as a society. It seems like we've collectively lost our fucking minds. How did seemingly normal people start parroting ideologies that originated from alt-right circles on 4chan? I think debates are a huge reason for it.

I've long held the opinion that debates are relatively pointless. They're less about finding truth and more of a rhetorical wrestling match. Trying to find "middle ground" on such absurd stances instead of dismissing them for the batshit/evil takes they are is what legitimizes these opinions.

If you platform a formal debate between someone who thinks trans people shouldn't exist and someone who does, you are essentially holding these two opinions at equal value to be disputed. And when one of the parties in the debate is a better debater, you get ripped apart even if you are technically on the right side. You then, by proxy, further legitimize the opinion that trans people shouldn't exist. We have been seeing it for the past decade at this point.

I also think of those dumbass Jubilee youtube videos about finding middle ground between two polarized sides on given topics. Generally, finding common ground is a good thing, but not when one side embodies conspiracy theories. Seriously "Flat Earthers vs Scientists: Can We Trust Science?"... what kind of stupid fucking title is that? The one episode that was finding common ground with flat-earthers should not have even been remotely entertained. Anti-vaxxer, flat-earther, and other pseudoscience bullshit shouldn't even be entertained, but because we did we gave these opinions legitimacy.

The 1 X vs 20 Y videos are another circus act. It's brain rot just in a different wrapper. I get pissed off at the videos of 1 progressive vs. 20 far-right conservatives. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE GIVING LITERAL SELF-IDENTIFYING FASCISTS A MEGAPHONE!

This is why I don't debate with the goofy "centrists" and conservatives on here. I dunk on them. Clown on them. Point and laugh because that is what these bottomless-pit-for-a-brain jackholes deserve. Mockery, not legitimacy.

The problem with debate is you could be completely wrong, but if you stump your opponent you look like you're the one who is the most "correct". When in actuality you're a 30-40 something year-old loser debating college students to get clips to make you look based for an audience of dumbass teenagers. These weasels never wanted to change their mind, they wanted to mold yours. And because we continue to platform these assholes.

We should have collectively ignored Crowder, Kirk, and Shapiro. When they demanded debate we should have collectively said "your opinions are so braindead they aren't worth entertaining".

Truth doesn't come from debate. It comes from thoughtful discussions and asking questions. The Socratic method anyone? We are long far from the days where two people could "debate" in good faith. It's all about agendas, clicks, and retention.

So, if you see some debate-me bro out on the street. Don't approach. Don't engage. Encourage everyone else not to waste their time unless they want to be edited to look like a dunce.

Previous |

Reply via email: me@absurdpirate.com

as of writing this...

Going to be doing an early Easter with my family and my FIL. Been playing a bit of Hotline Miami on my PS Vita, and man am I bad at that game. My daughter woke up a bit early today, so I'm glad I went to bed earlier. Still tired. Thinking of making a Zine, but still am figuring out where to start.

Guestbook

hidden (brittneyg) — Sat, 04 Apr 2026 17:17:19 +0000

📸 goats & pigs

hidden (leah) — Sat, 04 Apr 2026 17:08:14 +0000

easter weekend at the farm 🐐🐷

Day 8: Lydia Lunch, Elizabeth Hardwick, Charlotte Perkins Gilman

hidden (rabbitreading) — Sat, 04 Apr 2026 17:04:00 +0000

Enjoying this challenge. Its not very feasible, but still, I will go as long as I can. Today I read two things I don't recommend, and a poem I liked a small bit.

Story - Lydia Lunch - Johnny Behind the Deuce (2004)

Hated this story. Wrote several paragraphs why, but chickened out on publishing.

Grimey pornographic ScuzzLit schtick.

Elizabeth Hardwick - On Reading, and On Reading the Writing of Women

Love Hardwick, but these essays feel very minor, more like critical meditations on a topic without any real focus. With such broad subjects, I didn't feel I gained any insights. Perhaps I could revisit.

Still, her sentences are ones to study.

Poem: Charlotte Perkins Gilman

I have always wondered what ants feel when someone steps on their nest. Are the lost lives an abstract loss, like losing some units in a strategy game, or is it a tragedy for the anthill nation?

Every morning I kill several ants. I don't want to, but the ants have taken an initiative to be my alarm clock. At 10 oclock every morning, an ant moves across my queensize bed, crawls onto my eyebrow and bites, only to be snoozed with a hard smack until another ant comes to bite me ten minutes later.

I dont want to kill life. I believe in reincarnation, but biting me while I sleep does not encourage non-violence.

I have no idea where the dead ants go. Are they carried away, or do they turn into the kind of dust that has been giving me such asthmatic problems?

In this poem, the stanzas start so flowery and sentimental, but my ears pick up in the last four lines each time. What all the descriptions of nature show, in both the night and day, is that the world continues without our national tragedies, and that the world (arguably) keeps its beauty regardless of our laments. I don't know how much I agree with the worldview in the poem, but then again, national tragedies in the modern world are interlinked with all other nations, and from the current wars, I suspect a Mad Max future is coming.

I dunno. Whether I am correct in my worry, or not, I don't care. I can get out of it either way.

《锻炼》后六章

hidden (xiaofeixia) — Sat, 04 Apr 2026 17:03:00 +0000

第八章

这一章讲的是人和人的近亲大猩猩、黑猩猩、长臂猿在运动上的差别。人类在耐力上远远超过近亲们。尤其人擅长长距离的跋涉，这些是其他近亲们不具备的能力。

人擅长行走，并且长距离的行走，并且耗能不大。作者跟随一个狩猎采集部落一段时间，采集到的数据是，男性和女性平均日步行距离14.5千米和9.6千米。当然他们步行不是为了健康和保持体能，而是为了生存。他们为了生存日常往往都在2万步，而美国人平均4700，英国人5400，日本人6000步。现代人类的步行距离要比狩猎采集时期要少得多，并且过去的狩猎采集时期往往都是拿着食物、携带孩子等负重走在各种地形上。

黑猩猩不擅长长途跋涉，每天最多行走3-5千米。人类和黑猩猩共同的祖先的化石现在没有发现，被称为“遗失的一环”，作者认为是非洲雨林中肥沃、潮湿的酸性土壤迅速腐蚀掉了它们的骨头。在距今900万到700万年前，人类和黑猩猩的共同祖先们经历了剧烈气候变化，非洲大部分地区的热带雨林不断缩小，被分割成数千个小块的雨林，中间被干燥而开阔的林地分开。林地取代雨林，意味着它们（有趣，作者在这里使用它们）的主要食品——水果不再充分，并且更加分散，为了获得和以前同等数量的食物，它们需要行走更远的距离。在自然选择中，更青睐于哪些更能高效地行走的个体。直到最后，它们成为新的物种，而我们就是它们的后代。

接下来讲步行和减肥的关系，因为人类太擅长步行了，并且非常低功耗。步行8千米消耗的能量相当于一个能量棒（可以理解为士力架），有些人步行8千米还吃了2根士力架，不但不会减肥还会增重。并且人步行或者其他锻炼耗能之后会休息，休息的时候相对也节能一点。当然不从减肥方面考虑，只从身体健康的角度考虑，每日步行1万步是非常好锻炼方式。并且通过节食减少的体重非常容易反弹，在节食的同时保持锻炼减少的体重更容易保持。

人类擅长步行从而去获得食物，然后吃饱之后休息（或者叫做懒惰）利于储能，这样利于生存。但是在现在这个食物丰富的时代，没有必要去长途跋涉去获得食物，不过人的懒惰和擅长储能的特性还是保留下来，反而影响了人的生存质量。作者说，在今天这个世界里，我们只能逆进化而行，要么逼着自己走更远的距离，要么转而寻找更有意义的替代项目，如园艺、家务、乒乓球、骑车或者游泳。

第九章

这一章同样讲的人的耐力有关，前一章讲走路，这一章跑步和舞蹈。

这一章有趣的地方在于作者的双重身份，作者是哈佛进化生物学教授，同样也是慢跑爱好者，并且还是马拉松选手。一个进化生物学教授喜欢跑步，是纯粹的爱好还是专业知识习得后的抉择，非常值得细究。

他本身有受到家庭影响的因素，因为他的妈妈爱好跑步，每天慢跑8千米，连续40年。作者青春期变得焦虑、多动和缺乏安全感，在他妈妈的影响下开始慢跑。并且他的妈妈慢跑不是为了健康主要是社交，并且是注重耐力。

作者顺便还提到，从不跑步的岳父开车从慢跑的身边经过时，会故意刺激他说：又一个提前跑进坟墓的慢跑者。作者在书里多次赞美妻子，但对丈母娘和老丈人没少蛐蛐。前文说他能想到最痛苦的事情，就是丈母娘来他家住。

言归正传，人类的耐力远超人的近亲大猩猩，黑猩猩，甚至人可以跑赢马。作者作为马拉松选手亲自参加过一场人马比赛，长度40千米，中途要翻越海拔2000米的山。一开始毫无疑问，骑手骑着马都是一骑绝尘。但是作者在32千米的时候超越了第一匹马，那匹马因为太热不得不停下来降温。作者最后以跑者嗨的状态冲过终点线，跑赢了53匹马的其中40匹，用时4小时20分，在当场比赛的人类选手里面成绩一般。因此，大部分普通马拉松选手在长距离比赛中都能跑赢马。

作者上研究生的时候做实验（把一头猪放在跑步机上跑步），一个朋友正好造访时提醒作者——猪奔跑的时候脑袋不能保持不动，作者意识到发现了问题的关键。因为擅长奔跑的马和狗都能在奔跑中头部保持稳定，为此他们致力研究奔跑时头部能否保持稳定，最后发表论文在《自然》杂志。他们发现能否在奔跑保持头部不动，和颈背韧带有关，擅长奔跑的动物狗、马、羚羊都存在这个结构，而猪等非奔跑动物没有。但是没有从大猩猩、黑猩猩和早期人类化石中发现，却从人属化石和现在人类中发现。这种证据证明，人类已经在几百万年前从自然选择中获得了奔跑的能力。

这篇论文的主要观点是，200万年前，我们的直立祖先已经进化出在高温下长距离奔跑所具备的生理结构。这样他们在弓箭和其他抛射性武器没发明之前，就能够以采集打猎为生。主要靠长距离耐力奔跑来拖垮哪些奔跑速度快的动物，比如角马和非洲大羚羊。

从生理结构上来看，人擅长奔跑，一是有高性能的双腿，二是还有浑身布满出色的散热系统——出汗（大多数动物都没有，近亲猩猩们爪子上有），人类是动物界中出汗冠军。三是还有匹配的跑步高功率心脏和大多没什么用只用来跑步的臀大肌。

作者给出人类在没发明弓箭之前和现在原始人部落还采取的打猎方法，耐力打猎法。慢跑把动物累的中暑，或者冻伤，慢跑把动物驱赶的山谷或者陷阱里。当然作者提到，整个打猎过程中最具挑战性的不是跑步能力，而是寻迹能力，这需要讲足印、血迹等线索和动物的生活习惯等知识结合起来进行分析（逻辑思维进化的来源？）。

人类擅长慢跑，为什么跑步那么多伤病呢，受伤的主要是膝盖。作者认为主要原因是突然跑步的，不从小一直渐进式跑步导致的。作者建议每周渐进式增加10%的强度跑步。

接下来的观点比较有趣，作者认为人赤脚奔跑在柔软的路面几百万年，而在水泥路上穿鞋只有100年不到，所以这些不适应也和跑步受伤有关系。他研究研究了不少赤脚跑步的人群，发现他们前脚掌非常有韧性，并且比较健康，作者自己现在也赤脚跑步。这里有趣的还有，作者也认为我们的祖先肯定比今天的跑步爱好者跑的次数更少，速度更慢。

作者提出的跑步姿势，1、小步慢跑。2、控制步频在每分钟170-180之间。3、身体稍微前倾。4、轻柔的落地（作者推崇前脚掌落地，尤其是赤足跑）。

最后讲了和耐力有关的跳舞，作者认为过去的乏味世界没有医生、广播、电视，也没有书籍，没有任何可以依靠的风俗习惯满足我们身体和精神的需求，无法娱乐，无法受教育，但是舞蹈能满足人类上述需求。现存的几乎所有的原始部落都有跳舞的习惯，并且都是长达几个小时的，甚至通宵的跳舞（彻夜蹦迪）。桑人部落一直跳到凌晨时分的时候，有些人会进入神志恍惚的状态，他们称之为“半死”。恍惚中有人发出非人的声音，动作失控，双手舞蹈，有时全速奔跑，有时倒地震颤。桑人认为这种半痴半醒的状态蕴含巨大的能量，能够让人的精神获得自由并与另外一个世界进行交流，能够驱走病痛和隐疾还有厄运。跳舞往往具有神圣性，并且是强制的。

作者提到跑步和跳舞相似点，两者都能够引导人进入另外一种状态。长时间剧烈运动会刺激大脑分泌改善情绪的化学物质，内啡肽以及对人身体最好的内源性大麻素，结果就是跑者嗨和舞者嗨的状态。作者在长距离奔跑的时候能体验到狂喜和放松，在哪些时刻自己的视觉、听觉和味觉感知都得到了强化。看到的颜色更鲜艳，听到的声音更清晰。作者猜想这种认知强化之所以能进化出来，是为了帮助奔跑的猎人追踪猎物。

第十章

本章开篇就借用古希腊希波克拉底的话点明了主题，“一个人若想变得健康，不能以靠吃饭，还需要锻炼，唯有耐力，才会让人活的长久。”

上来讲了两个唐纳德的故事，一个唐纳德.特朗普（是的，就是他）虽然烟酒不沾，但喜欢吃垃圾食品和超大份牛排，喝高糖可口可乐，睡眠时间也很短，除了高尔夫球之外不进行任何锻炼。并且中年开始超重，为了降低胆固醇和血压，服用处方药。2018年他公布的体检报告显示，血压正常，胆固醇正常，他的健康状况良好。

另一个几乎同龄的唐纳德.里奇是运动健将，十几岁开始就开始跑步，曾经11个小时跑了160千米。曾经每天跑3个马拉松的距离，连续跑了10天。在他的整个运动生涯中一共跑了33万千米。但51岁就患上了糖尿病，他虽然患上糖尿病还在坚持跑步，但是患有一系列的心血管疾病，颈动脉栓塞，心率不齐，高血压，并于2018年73岁去世。

作者开始就把论证锻炼和长寿关系中，最难啃的骨头放在台面上来，因为每个人都可以举出来生活周围存在相当一部分长寿但不锻炼的人群。

作者说这是个例，有大量的实验数据支撑，锻炼和健康正相关。接着作者罗列了一众多数据，对以上个例进行了反驳。体能较好的男性和女性比体能较差的男性和女性死亡率低1/4到1/3。体能较好的中年人相比体能较差的中年人，患上糖尿病和老年痴呆的概率也相比减少一半。

接下来还是要回到和人的近亲相比，这里有个有趣的现象。大猩猩极少能活到50岁，雌性大猩猩绝经之后，雄性大猩猩停止繁衍之后便会死去。他们非常符合常见的生物规律，为了繁衍而生，不能繁衍之后，就进入了“自然选择的阴影”。那为何人类能跳出这个常见的生物规律，在停止繁衍之后还能活到70以上（狩猎采集时期就能活到70以上，反而比农耕时代活的更长一点）。

进化生物界提出一个假说解释这种现象——“慷慨祖母”假说。人类的幼崽难以抚养，年老的人类虽然没有繁衍的能力，但是在部落内部照顾孙辈，同样是利于繁衍。那些携带“慷慨祖母基因“的祖父母、外祖父母，更会照顾孙辈，他们的孙辈子女更容易存活下来，从而导致现存人类的基因都携带“慷慨祖母基因”（感情带孙辈是天生的是吧）。

高龄人类并非生物意义上的无用之人，在狩猎采集部落，祖母的劳动量往往大于母亲，祖父除了狩猎之外，还要传授孙辈知识。在狩猎采集部落里如果能度过危险的婴儿期，大概率能活到68-78岁。作者还提到老年人催年轻人生孩子，见到孙辈并愿意抚养他们，也是刻在基因里的，根深蒂固的本能。

这里有趣，带孙子让人更长寿，人的社会性竟然影响了生物性。

因此，作者在这里提出，人类的长寿是人类活动的结果（因为身体活动较多，所以身体健康长寿），同时人类的长寿也是人类活的原因（因为带孙辈，所以才长寿）。并且作者在这里暗戳戳指出，退休是不符合人的身体健康规律的。身体活动一旦下降，健康状况会下滑严重。所以作者在这里进一步提出”忙碌的祖父母“假说，认为忙碌的老年人才是符合进化规律的。狩猎采集部落的65岁老年人他们的力量和速度只比年轻人下降20%-30%。

接下来讲了衰老的细节，可以简单理解为身体的氧化反应。血管生出瘢痕，造成硬化和阻塞；细胞上传感受体阻塞；肌肉失去弹性和力量；神经细胞和其他细胞周围长出了污垢；脑细胞死亡；身体的各种膜发生撕裂；骨骼退化，出现裂缝；肌腱和韧带磨损；免疫系统能力下降。

但是人自身也有一些抗衰的机制，但是日常不会被启动。生物进化学的规律就是，生存和繁衍为主，其他的能用就好，差不多得了。抗衰是为维持生存而附加的，只有生存、繁衍、身体移动、照顾后代提供能量，除此之外都需要节能才是第一位（这种更被大自然选择青睐）。

接下来就是锻炼的意义了，锻炼身体后往往能激发这种修复机制。身体活动激活了数十项人体生化过程，这些过程能够维护人体机能并且修复年龄增加而出现的损伤，作者称之为“超级修复”。作者认为这里没有捷径可走，药物和任何维生素不能激活“超级修复”，并顺便蛐蛐了一位两届诺贝尔奖获得者。他写过一本书叫做《如何长寿且感觉良好》，里面号召大家吃维生素c。

并且抨击了其他靠“自我伤害”达到身体健康的手段，比如冷水澡，控制热量摄入，戒除碳水化合物，用辛辣食物刺激消化道等。没有任何一样有足够的证据支撑，证明可以延长寿命，除了间歇性断食之外。

接下来有趣的来了，现在后工业时代人的寿命长度和狩猎采集时期，差别不大。但狩猎采集时期在去世之前大多都是健康状态，而现在缺乏活动的人，在50岁到70-80的时候都是处于带病状态，寿命质量不如狩猎采集时期。但有运动习惯、不吸烟、体重正常者，他们的寿命质量比较接近狩猎采集时期。

作者认为，虽然2/3的美国人去世之后的死亡证明写着心脏病、癌症或者中风，但是造成这些疾病的更深层原因绝大多数是吸烟、肥胖和缺乏运动。

第十一章

锻炼是反人性，人们之所以能够坚持，是因为不锻炼的感觉更加糟糕。人类从来没有进化出锻炼的本能，过去人类是为了生存被迫活动的。如果旧石器的人类不用身体活动就能吃得饱，也不会有太多的身体活动和锻炼。因此，锻炼是人类的智慧通过经验总结、逻辑推理而出的一个发现。苏格拉底说到锻炼和人的理性相关，这么说有道理。

那么人类锻炼就是一个非常困难的事情了，除非身体活动是愉悦的、必须做的、有回报的事情。

作者强调锻炼要增加愉悦性和必要性。比如组队锻炼，锻炼过程中增加团队合作和其他团队竞技的内容。人类是深度社会性动物，我们可以和完全不认识的陌生人进行合作，而且比任何其他物种都擅长此道。锻炼的时候尽量组队锻炼，更能增加愉悦性。

趣味性还包括人锻炼过程中的内分泌变化，比如多巴胺、血清素、内啡肽、内源性大麻素。经常锻炼的人，人的多巴胺受体也比较多，然后更容易锻炼（良性循环，反之还有不良循环）。血清素能让人感受快乐、控制冲动，影响记忆、睡眠等。一般在于和爱人身体接触、照顾婴儿、在阳光下享受户外时光、锻炼的时候，我们的大脑就会产生血清素。内啡肽具有镇痛和激发喜悦感，但是需要高强度剧烈运动20分钟或者更久才会产生，内源性大麻素要数小时的剧烈运动，大脑也会释放这种增强情绪和感官体验的物质。前文也说到过，进化出来有利于帮助旧石器时代打猎时使用耐力打猎法打猎，提高感官灵敏度。

至于让锻炼成为必需品，这个主要针对青少年，每天60分钟中等强度的锻炼有利于他们更好更健康的生长。至于成年人作者建议使用锻炼惩罚和奖励类似APP应用。

第十二章

什么样的锻炼强度，选择什么样的锻炼项目是合适的？这是本章介绍的主题。因为市面上的锻炼建议太多了，作者说目前为止最常见、应用最广泛的方案，就是每周进行至少150分钟（每天20分钟）中等强度的有氧锻炼，或者进行至少75分钟（每天10分钟）高强度有氧锻炼，再辅以每周两次的力量训练。这一方案也得到了几乎所有健康机构的倡导。

作者用多组数据论证这一方案的有效性，在各个年龄段，每周150分钟的中等强度有氧锻炼，都能降低全因死亡率，50岁以下的每周中等强度锻炼的相比久坐人群全因死亡率低21%，到70岁的时候要低50%。随着年龄增长锻炼收益越大。

那为什么是每周150分钟呢？其实继续提高也能继续降低全因死亡率，但是降低的越来越少。每周150分钟性价比最高，是个甜点强度。直到每周超过1700分钟（每天4小时）中等强度的锻炼，反而全因死亡率会开始微微上升。当然上升幅度有限，每周1900分钟的中等强度锻炼几乎等同于每周1000分钟中等锻炼强度的全因死亡率。再继续锻炼从健康的角度没有意义。或者说，不考虑其他因素，单从锻炼角度考虑，只要不是每天跑步超过4个小时，锻炼对身体都是有益的。

作者虽然是进化生物学教授，也是马拉松选手，但是也从客观的角度阐述运动量和健康的关系。从进化的角度，运动量与死亡率之间存在一种u型（但这个u的底部在每周1700分钟的中等锻炼强度，即使马拉松运动员也很难达到）关系，也是符合情理的。狩猎采集者通常只进行中等强度的身体活动，他们当然不是沙发土豆，但也不是超级马拉松选手，而我们人类也只是适应了中等强度的锻炼而不是极限运动。马拉松当然是极限运动。

几种常见的运动损伤，包括高强度过度锻炼（指马拉松级别）后身体疲劳，免疫力下降，抗感染防御能力下降。这部分详细数据还存在争议，不过任何一个与严重感染性疾病对抗的人，都应该避免剧烈锻炼。小白鼠的实验也支持这种假说，同样感染流感病毒后，完全不动的死亡率最高，中等强度锻炼（每天跑30分钟）的存活率是前者的两倍，高强度训练的（每天跑2.5小时）的死亡率高于完全不动的。

心脏损伤，马拉松运动中偶尔会出现有人心脏病发作导致死亡。对身体造成巨大压力的活动，的确增加造成猝死的风险。这些死亡事件大多数是由潜在的先天条件或者获得性疾病造成的。这里的说一句，作者也提到身体健康是饮食、锻炼、睡眠、基因等的共同结果，锻炼不是灵丹妙药，锻炼只是提高身体健康的重要因素之一。马拉松级别的运动员高强度训练产生的血液高压的确会对血管壁造成损伤，然后身体会产生斑块包裹这些损伤（一种类型的冠状动脉钙化），这些斑块和久坐、多食等代谢综合征产生的斑块性质不同。虽然运动员的有这个类型的冠状动脉钙化，但患心脏病的概率最低。

中等强度的有氧运动，就是快走、慢跑、骑车等，他们的特征就是运动的时候不能唱歌，但是可以说话。心率提高到最大心率的50%-70%。中等强度锻炼的好，就不展开了，作者自己也自嘲在反复言说，像复读机。心脏更好、血管更好、胆固醇含量更健康、延缓衰老、改善代谢、调整激素、降低炎症、骨骼修复、提高免疫、刺激脑细胞生长保养、改善认知和情绪等。

高强度有氧运动，是指快跑、狂奔等。他们的特征是运动的时候不能轻松的说话，只能发出一个单词。心率提高到最大心率的70%-85%。从健康角度，高强度只是对中等有氧运动的补充，更适合日常有中等强度锻炼的人附加锻炼。

阻力训练，力量训练也是在前面的补充，保持肌肉量，避免骨骼流失、改善新陈代谢等，每周2次即可。把大肌肉群（腿、臀、背、核心、肩和臂），都调动起来，每个部位重复8次，做2-3组更好。

总结起来锻炼方案就是，每周锻炼数小时，以心肺锻炼为主，力量锻炼为辅，随着年龄的增加要保持锻炼习惯。

第十三章

这是本书最后一章，通过对锻炼和具体疾病的关系来做最后总结。

作者再次强调，锻炼是一种非常不可捉摸的“药物”，锻炼的医学效用之所以被广受认同，是因为当人们缺乏身体活动时，就会呈现不健康的状态。或者说，锻炼的效用是通过缺失的后果来体现的。

从进化角度讲，人类没有进化出“锻炼”的能力，反而是另外一种能力，即分配能量的能力，或者说尽量不将能量用于锻炼的能力。在进化过程人，人类可分配的能量已经远远超过了远亲类人猿，这些能量主要供给哪些必要的身体活动，以及社交相关的身体活动，还需要为繁衍保留能量。

人类突然进入后工业时代，我们很少步行，不再搬运、挖掘、奔跑和投掷，每天大部分时间里都是坐在人体工程学椅子上盯着屏幕按按钮（原谅我，读到这里忍不住笑了）。麻烦在于，我们继承的仍然是生性爱动的祖先们的节约型基因。这些基因只有在身体活动的条件下才能促进身体发育，保养和修复身体。久坐加上现代性饮食以及一些其他新生事物（我猜其中有电脑和手机）造成了进化适配。我们的身体对新环境的适配非常差，促使我们更容易患上常见的慢性疾病已经容易失能。心脏病、高血压、各种癌症、骨质疏松症、骨关节炎和阿尔兹海默症等病症曾经极为罕见，甚至根本没出现过。锻炼可以降低这种适配的风险，从这个意义上来讲，锻炼具有医疗效果。

接着讲了一系列慢行疾病和身体活动的减少的“因果关系”，并且给出了锻炼建议。其中有肥胖、代谢综合征和2型糖尿病、心血管疾病、呼吸道感染和其他传染病、慢行肌肉骨骼疾病、癌症、阿尔兹海默症、抑郁和焦虑。

其中有一个戏剧性的实验，10名身患2型糖尿病、体重超重的澳大利亚土著人，在重新回到狩猎采集者的生活方式7周之后，便逆转了各自身上的疾病。

以上疾病的锻炼建议，也几乎接近，要么是侧重点中等强度有氧锻炼，要么侧重力量训练，没有特别大的区别。几乎是前文所写，每周150分钟中等强度有氧锻炼，或者70分钟高等强度有氧锻炼，每周2次力量锻炼。

作者最后说到，人体哲学和人生哲学同样重要，我们每个人都只有一次享受美好人生的机会，我们不想在生命终结的时候因为人生失误而充满遗憾，而这种失误也包括对自己身体的错误使用。

实话实话，锻炼不是保持健康和长寿的灵丹妙药，但是，透过人类的进化史我们可以看到，伴随一生的身体活动能够显著提升人们在70岁之后健康离世的概率。

这里让我想到，苏格拉底定义的“好的生活”——只专注于满足基本生存；享受天伦之乐，高唱赞美神的感恩之歌；然后在没有慢行疾病折磨中安然死去，并且把这种生活方式传递给子女。

هذه لحظة سعيدة

hidden (aabudouh) — Sat, 04 Apr 2026 16:55:00 +0000

من أكبر نعم الحياة، أن تحدث أشياء بسيطة مفاجئة تُسعد الإنسان وتبهجه دون سعي منه.. وهذه منها بالنسبة إليّ. لأول مرة يجتمع الثلاثة معًا.. وقتًا طيبًا يا رفاق!

tiny little lizard // una lagartijita

hidden (kmnada) — Sat, 04 Apr 2026 16:52:06 +0000

a tiny little lizard half way up the wall spot the grey cats tail from behind my desk.

eng

una lagartijita a medio camino por la pared alcanza a ver la cola del gato gris desde detrás de mi escritorio.

esp //

a drunk // un borracho

hidden (kmnada) — Sat, 04 Apr 2026 16:38:22 +0000

drunk man stumbling down dirt road, his outline purple, the sun and the mountains behind him

eng //

un borracho trastabillando por terracería, su silueta morada, el sol y los cerros detrás de él

esp //

The Social Contract - 1 - Freedom

hidden (imaginaryinpho) — Sat, 04 Apr 2026 16:30:00 +0000

Book One

Quote

It would be well, before we examine the act by which a people elects a king, to examine the act by which a people becomes a people.

Notes

🔥 "Man was born free, and everywhere he is in chains. There are some who may believe themselves masters of others, and are no less enslaved than they."

🔥 The social order is a sacred right, but it doesn't come from nature. It comes from agreed conventions. So what are those conventions...?

🔥 Man's first law is his own conservation, taking care of himself.

🔥 "Behold then the human race divided into herds of cattle, each with its chief, who preserves it in order to devour it."

🔥 The family is the most ancient society, with the father as the leader.

🔥 The so-called "right of the strongest" is not really a right. "To yield to force is an act of necessity, not of consent ... We are obliged to obey only legitimate powers."

🔥 No one has a natural right over another, and being stronger doesn't give you a right to rule either. The right to rule must come from "agreed convention."

🔥 Why would a nation sell itself and become subject to a king? Some say a king brings civil order, but he also might bring greed, or a warlike ambition for more power.

🔥 "Prisoners live peacefully in their dungeons; is that enough for them to feel comfortable there?"

🔥 In order for a government to be legitimate, it needs the people's consent. Conquering someone in war doesn't give you a right to rule over them.

🔥 Slavery is similarly illegitimate. "I will make a covenant with you which is entirely at your expense and entirely for my good." No one would enter into a deal like that voluntarily.

🔥 The idea that there is an agreement to go with the majority vote in a decision shows some prior agreement to this collective arrangement.

🔥 Humans can't survive on their own in the state of nature. They need to find a way to cooperate with others while still retaining their individual freedom.

🔥 Rousseau conceives this social pact as a mutual exchange between its members where you give your rights to the community — the general will — but you receive more rights back collectively: "Each of us puts his person and all his power in common under the supreme direction of the general will; and we as a body receive each member as an indivisible part of the whole."

🔥 The sovereign of this body, theoretically, should have the same interests as the body, since they're all part of the same state. But it is possible for one's individual interests to differ from the general will. So there should be some mechanism to ensure obedience to the general will.

🔥 Being a member of a society brings about a change in a person where they're no longer only thinking about themselves. He has to "consult his reason before acting on other inclinations." But civil freedom is greater and gives you more protection than individual freedom does.

🔥 Being driven by appetites alone is actually slavery. And following a law we impose on ourselves is actually freedom.

🔥 Property rights must be established and are stronger in a state than in nature. You have to work the land to really own it.

🔥 "I end this chapter, and this book, by a remark upon which the entire social system should be based: it is that, instead of destroying natural equality, the fundamental contract substitutes moral and legal equality for whatever degree of physical inequality nature has put among men; they may be unequal in strength or intelligence, but all become equal through agreed convention and by right."

Thoughts

A lot of this book so far seems very similar to John Locke, discussing things like the state of nature and the necessity of consent in order for a ruler to have any legitimacy.

There are elements from other philosophies, too, like the idea of being free to pursue your inclinations or appetites is actually slavery, and controlling yourself enough to follow reason and be part of a society is actually freedom.

The Spider-Man-Spider

hidden (naturalist) — Sat, 04 Apr 2026 16:30:00 +0000

I'm not a big Spider-Man fan, and no, I have no idea what kind of spider it was that bit him, besides that it was a radioactive one.

But yesterday evening, I found a cool little spider on the wall that always makes me think of Spider-Man when I see it. I'm talking about Scytodes thoracica, the Common Spitting Spider.

The most remarkable fact about it, is its hunting method:

Operating under the cover of darkness, this spider tracks its prey by using highly sensitive hearing hairs (trichobothria) on its legs to detect vibrations in the air. Vibrations as minimal as the wingbeat of a flying mosquito or the air currents created by a tiny crawling insect.

Once the prey has been located, the spider then starts moving towards it, with a slow, deliberate 'cat-crawl', getting as close as 10 to 15 millimeters without alerting the victim of its presence.
When in range, the spider stops and will begin to very gently tap the air or the surface with its exceptionally long front legs. This isn't just a feeler; it is a very precise way to center the prey and 'triangulate' the exact distance between him and his prey.

When the target is centered, the spider executes its signature move in a staggering 1/700th of a second. Massive glands in its domed head start squeezing out a pressurized liquid. This substance is a unique mucilaginous blend of liquid silk and a special kind of glue, that instantly becomes sticky when it comes in contact with the air. While the fluid is being ejected, the spider vibrates its fangs side-to-side at incredible speeds (up to 1,800 times per second). By doing this, the two streams of silk are cross-hatching with each other, creating a sticky, zig-zag net that instantly pins the prey to the ground where the silk strands automatically contract by 40% to 60% at impact, further tightening the trap around the victim.

Now think about that for a second. In 1/700th of a second!!!, faster then the human eye can register, or the prey can move, he creates a web, not just a single thread of silk, but an actual web that he throws over it's victim, where the net contracts to secure and immobilize.
Spider-Man may shoot webs from his wrists, but Scytodes thoracica shoots them from its face, in a fraction of a second, with better aim, and without the radioactive backstory. I know which one I find more impressive.

Now, with the victim glued down and unable to move, the spider can approach safely to deliver a final, lethal bite with its fangs, injecting a concentrated paralyzing venom and digestive enzymes.

Once the prey is subdued, the spider may wrap it in more traditional silk from the spinnerets at the back of its body. It then begins the process of feeding, which involves regurgitating enzymes to liquefy the prey's insides and sucking them out through several bite holes.

Like other spiders, the spitting spider also has spinnerets at the back of its body. This silk is not sticky and it's mainly used for creating a safe 'bed' or retreat to rest in during the day, securing the prey after it has been sprayed and most importantly, for weaving an egg sac.

It's not a rare species. You can find them all over Europe and in most of the US. They prefer the warm and cosy confines of houses and sheds over nature, keeping out of sight in dark crevices, closets and under rocks during the day. Next to that, most spitting spiders are tiny, and S. thoracica is no different. Its body ranges from just 3 to 6 mm (0.12 to 0.24 in) long.

Somewhere in the room where you're reading this, there is probably one sitting in a dark corner right now, motionless, waiting for something to move. You'll never see it happen. At 1/700th of a second, you never could.

94/365 - 30 inks day 04

hidden (teejayh) — Sat, 04 Apr 2026 16:21:00 +0000

Day 4 of #30inks30days. I inked Anderillium Ink's Flying Squid Blue in one of my Jinhao 10 pens with an extra fine nib. Transcript of my writing:

"Anderillium Inks Flying Squid Blue

Having fun digging through my ink drawers and pulling out inks I haven't used in a while. I'm also seeing my preference for blues, greens, and teals.

This is a nice, rich blue that has some sheen. Using this extra-fine nib probably wasn't the best idea for a sheening ink. Oh well...

Jinhao 10 <EF>"

Weekly: April 4, 2026: SRY gene tests, LLM model collapse, and other links

hidden (kaes-blog) — Sat, 04 Apr 2026 16:16:19 +0000

SRY Gene Tests Not Suitable for Gender Testing

The International Olympic Committee reinstates SRY gene testing, a practice that was abandoned as unsuitable for the purpose. An earlier statement on World Athletics adopting the same standard:

In advance of the 2025 World Athletics Championships in Tokyo, World Athletics (WA) announced that passing a genetic test, specifically for the absence of the SRY gene, is a prerequisite for competing in the women’s category in all athletics World Rankings Competitions as of 1 September 2025 (online supplemental table 1). Athletes who do not pass the test will be considered ‘biological males’ and required to prove that they have complete androgen insensitivity syndrome (CAIS) in order to compete. This requirement recycles an intentionally discontinued practice from the last century. After ending the discredited chromosome (Barr body) tests that had been used since the 1960s, the International Olympic Committee briefly used SRY gene tests from 1992 to 19991 before they were also withdrawn because of inaccuracy, lack of evidence of performance advantage, excessive cost including the cost of counselling, and the trauma and stigmatisation experienced by athletes and their families.

-- Harmful anachronism: World Athletics reinstates gene testing to participate in women’s competitions

LLM Model Collapse

Model Collapse Is Already Happening, We Just Pretend It Isn’t has given me some food for thought. LLMs have a bias for the central tendency (most common elements) of the language they model. When you feed the results into training the next generation of models, the bias is increased in the output of the next model. This article argues that it's already happening.

In my work work, we're trying to incrementally upgrade systems with layers and layers of production web-application code. Some of the models we use are no longer maintained. I suspect some of the problems I've experienced with LLM-analysis based on this codebase comes from an inability to recognize this as distinct edge case. Feeding the LLM information from two different languages and frameworks might be poisoning the results.

It also might explain some of the uncanny valley sense we see with LLM-generated writing. The language used by individual humans has a statistical "fingerprint" unique to each writer/speaker. An LLM which delivers the most probable continuation may not have those tell-tale quirks that identify an individual writer's style. Reports that LLM-generated text feels bland and corporate might come from this.

Other

Using

hidden (kaes-blog) — Sat, 04 Apr 2026 16:12:31 +0000

Operating Systems

MacOS: Switched over from Linux after many years. I love linux but there was always something that didn't quite work.
Linux: Home server and legacy laptop.
Windows: Gaming system attached to TV.

Documentation and Programming Languages

Markdown: Been using markdown as a primary documentation language for over a decade.
Typescript: Primary language for web development.

Editors

helix: Nice editor that comes with most bits and bobs included.
vscode: Editor for some edge cases that don't work in helix.

Frameworks

react: framework chosen for next big work project.
vue: maintenance for some legacy code.

Shell Stuff

git, ripgrep, fd, zsh, fish, and others
I'll call out lazygit because something about git fails to stick in my brain after a decade of using it.

Sewing

Janome sewing machine and bits and bobs of equipment I've picked up over a decade. I've done patterns from Freesewing, Muna and Broad, and others.

Stationery

A lot of serious thinking happens with pen and paper first. I usually go with medium-grade spiral bound notebooks and something like a Pilot G2 Gel by default. The top ideas get typed into a git repository of markdown files.

Books and Documents

A Kobo for most reading and Calibre to collect it all. Calibre also gets sewing patterns.

-- Last revised: April 2026.

Um lembrete do que eu gosto

hidden (ambivalentabout) — Sat, 04 Apr 2026 16:04:24 +0000

Recentemente eu estava vendo minha wishlist da steam e reparei que não tinham vários jogos que eu queria jogar ou que em algum momento eu tinha a certeza absoluta que tinha adicionado eles na lista.

Me perguntei porque eu teria removido vários deles e aí eu vi que era pela quantidade. Em algum momento da minha vida, vide uns 2 anos atrás, eu cismei que não podia ter mais de 100 jogos na wishlist já que não faria sentido eu ter tanta coisa já que não iria jogar isso tudo por mais que me esforçasse. O que é mentira? Não. Mas hoje em dia eu me pergunto quantos jogos eu poderia ter jogado se não fosse essa bobeira de limitação que eu mesmo tinha me imposto.

Resolvi remediar e enquanto adicionava certos jogos eu comecei a pensar que isso também pode ser uma maneira de eu sabe que em algum ponto e em algum momento eu me interessei pelo título em questão. Seja por ter visto em algum vídeo ou lido sobre ele em algum lugar de alguma pessoa que eu gosto o suficiente pra ter adicionado ali.

Se eu quisesse só jogar alguma meia dúzia de jogos, era só seguir algumas curadoria a da própria plataforma. Porém eu acho que dessa maneira eu consigo ter a minha própria (falta de) curadoria. Afinal, seguir só um estilo é muito limitado, tem épocas que por mais que eu seja fã de JRPG, só um bullet hell pode proporcionar a frustração que eu preciso sentir. Ou em casos recentes, não é todo mundo que vai se dedicar a procurar jogos FMV que tem sido a minha maior satisfação do ano encontrar alguns. É principalmente os jogos chineses que eu tenho descoberto graças a alguns vários fãs desse gênero.

Mas o meu único lembrete que vai ficar apesar de ter praticamente dobrado a quantidade de jogos que eu estou acompanhando é a de nunca ter mais do que 3 jogos no backlog não importa o motivo. Nada pior do que estar jogando vários jogos ao mesmo tempo e esquecer aonde parou um porque passou um mês longe do mesmo (pode ou não ter acontecido comigo).

Kava na urniku

hidden (tamkjersemdoma) — Sat, 04 Apr 2026 16:00:00 +0000

Čeprav so moji sosedje barbari, ti pa tako zelo daleč proč, sta na moji mizi vedno dve skodelici za čaj.

— John Fowles, The Magus

Kot večna pobudnica srečanj sem, v upanju, da bi se s prijatelji večkrat videla ali slišala, predlagala »mesečno kavo«. En termin, enkrat na mesec, ki ga imamo vsi v koledarju – brez skrbi, tudi za to sem poskrbela – v katerem si vsak naredi kavo in se »dobimo« na videoklicu. Približno ena ura, ki si jo vsak vzame, da si povemo, kaj je novega pri nas in poslušamo, kaj je novega pri drugih dveh.

Ne vem, kako se prijatelja počutita glede tega termina, ampak jaz sem pri sebi opazila, da se cel teden prej veselim tega dogodka, po kavi pa sem dobre volje še cel teden. Res ne počnemo nekih ekstra posebnih stvari. Samo vzamemo si čas in obstajamo skupaj.

Večino časa ne preživimo v isti državi, zato žal ni alternative, da bi se dobili v živo, ampak je ravno v tem čar, da se ne dobimo v živo in da nas skoraj nič ne more ustaviti. Ne glede na to kje smo, si pa ja lahko vzamemo tisto eno uro v mesecu, da se dobimo. Na neki način mi ta srečanja tudi prikličejo spomine, ko smo si čas za kavo vzeli v jedilnici srednje šole, samo da takrat srečanja niso bila tako načrtovana in nismo vsi mogli preveriti šestih koledarjev, če imamo čas. Tudi težave, ki smo jih imeli takrat, se zdaj zdijo prav banalne. Nihče nas ni opozoril, da bo tako hitro minilo.