Bear Blog Most Recent Posts

I'm So Tired

2026-09-15T00:04:00+00:00

Mood.

I haven't been getting much sleep at night, so I've been nodding off during the day. I've been getting less sunlight, which is a shame since there is so much of it here in Florida, even though it's still the wet season.

More than the lyrics, The Beatles' instrumentation sounds like how my brain feels. Floaty, dreamy, yet disoriented.

Pedro The Lion - Big Trucks

2026-09-15T00:00:00+00:00

Criando Arquivos pelo CMD do Windows

2026-09-14T23:59:54.817648+00:00

Entendendo o Conceito

Criar arquivos diretamente pelo Prompt de Comando (CMD) do Windows evita navegar pela interface gráfica (botão direito > Novo > renomear) e mantém o fluxo de trabalho no teclado. O CMD funciona como uma camanda de comunicação com o sistema de arquivos: comandos escritos no terminal são interpretados e executados pelo Windows, sem interação com o mouse.

Passo a Passo

Abra o CMD (pesquisar por "CMD" no menu iniciar) e execute os comandos na pasta de destino.

Alternativa 1 - Criar um arquivo de texto vazio

type nul > meu_relatorio.txt

Alternativa 2 - Criar um arquivo com uma frase inicial

echo Iniciando meu projeto de estudos > anotacoes.txt

Alternativa 3 - Adicionar uma nova linha sem apagar o conteúdo existente

echo Esta é a segunda linha do meu arquivo >> anotacoes.txt

Alternativa 4 - Editor interativo para digitar várias linhas livres

copy con

Após executar copy con, tudo o que for digitado é enviado ao arquivo de destino. Para finalizar e salvar, pressionar Ctrl + Z (ou F6) e depois Enter.

Alternativa 5 - Criar arquivos de tamanho sob medida para testes

fsutil file createnew

Ferramenta de sistema avançada para criar arquivos de teste com tamanhos grandes (em bytes) instantaneamente, útil para simular cenários reais de teste de velocidade de rede ou limite de armazenamento do disco.

Explicando o código

type nul:
- type exibe o conteúdo de um arquivo na tela.
- nul é uma palavra reservada do Windows para representar o "vazio".
- Juntos, type nul gera um conteúdo em branco que é direcionado ao arquivo.
> (seta única):
- Funciona como um funil: pega o resultado do comando à esquerda e joga dentro do arquivo à direita.
- Se o arquivo já existir, apaga todo o conteúdo anterior e escreve o novo texto por cima.
>> (seta dupla):
- Modo seguro de adicionar informações: pula para a última linha e escreve o novo texto no final, preservando o que já estava escrito.
echo:
- Escreve um texto na tela (ex.: echo Olá repete "Olá" no terminal).
- Combinado com >, o texto de saída é desviado para dentro de um arquivo.
copy con:
- Abre um pequeno editor interativo dentro do terminal.
- Ctrl + Z ou F6 seguido de Enter finaliza e salva o conteúdo.
fsutil file createnew:
- Comando nativo de gerenciamento de sistema de arquivos para criar arquivo com tamanho definido em bytes.

Observações

"Acesso Negado": ocorre ao tentar criar arquivo em pasta protegida do sistema (ex.: Windows, Arquivos de Programas). Resolver fechando o CMD, clicando com o botão direito no ícone e escolhendo "Executar como Administrador".
Nomes com espaços: type nul > meu relatorio.txt faz o CMD interpretar "relatorio" como comando extra. Sempre envolver nomes com espaços entre aspas duplas: type nul > "meu relatorio.txt".
Seta única vs. seta dupla: > limpa o arquivo e sobrescreve; >> adiciona ao final. Para preservar o histórico do arquivo, usar sempre >>.

Sep 14

2026-09-14T23:57:59.906883+00:00

decide to start this since Sep.13 night, when I binged two froyos, three packs of snacks given from friends, 12 packs of seaweed and a bunch of frozen fruits unvoluntarily.
also a lot of stuff has happened since summer 2026.
for some reason I am more anxious at school instead of working.
As for 9.14.2026:

some things coming up are:

before got out of bed:

Harmony quiz that I haven't started review
15-451 Midterm in 2 days, was not on track for reviewing

happened during the day:

regret about the binging yesterday
had a 95-422 gen-ed presentation
heard from TikTok intern mentor asked about did i hear from company, and asking me "did i copy data and programs when finishing up intern"
ordered Chipotle online, but there's a fucking fire alarm happening, and i can't pick my food in unknown amount of time
had to wait at starbucks, but anxiety hits so i was fighting the urge of soothing feelings with food
my review plan got disrupted because of 1.5 hour late of chipotle
ate another bowl of froyo, felt bad about the workout goal that i was thinking yesterday
more worrying about TikTok return offer, had several convo with intern partners and friends when max anxiety hits

Some post-mortem thoughts:

honest biological reaction:

heart beating extremely fast
can't breathe properly
brain felt like getting kidnapped or life was threatened

Some actions I took to save:

decide not to associate food with anxiety anymore

alternative: 跳一跳小游戏
can't think of anything else as honestly the feeling felt too strong like i will die without thinking about it
In terms of weight loss, Only Fixate on the Goal, keep thinking being in shape is my goal, I want to be in shaped, instead of anything threatening.

Now its 7:55PM and i have to review 15-451. Will try to document more things

Resolvendo o Erro 'SELF_SIGNED_CERT_IN_CHAIN' no Playwright (Windows)

2026-09-14T23:42:00+00:00

Entendendo o Conceito

O comando playwright install utiliza o Node.js por trás dos panos para realizar o download dos navegadores (Chromium, Firefox e WebKit).

Em redes corporativas, é comum que firewalls e sistemas de segurança interceptem as conexões HTTPS e injetem um certificado interno próprio na cadeia de certificação. Como o Node.js não reconhece esse certificado de fábrica, ele bloqueia a conexão e o download não acontece.

Abaixo, três alternativas para contornar o problema diretamente no terminal (VS Code ou Prompt de Comando), com o ambiente virtual devidamente ativado.

Passo a Passo

Alternativa 1 - Ignorar a verificação de certificado (mais rápida)

Criar a variável de ambiente temporária (PowerShell):
```
$env:NODE_TLS_REJECT_UNAUTHORIZED="0"
```
Ou, caso esteja utilizando o Prompt de Comando (CMD):
```
set NODE_TLS_REJECT_UNAUTHORIZED=0
```
Executar o download dos navegadores:
```
playwright install
```

Explicando o código:
- A variável instrui o Node.js a não rejeitar certificados não reconhecidos;
- A configuração é temporária: ao fechar o terminal, a variável é descartada automaticamente.

Alternativa 2 - Confiar no certificado corporativo (mais segura)

Obter com o time de segurança/infra o certificado root da empresa (arquivos .pem, .crt ou .cer);

Apontar a variável para o arquivo (PowerShell):

$env:NODE_EXTRA_CA_CERTS="C:\caminho\para\o\certificado.pem"

Executar a instalação:
```
playwright install
```

Alternativa 3 - Configurar proxy explícito

Configurar a variável de proxy (PowerShell):

$env:HTTPS_PROXY="http://seu-proxy-da-empresa:porta"

Executar a instalação:
```
playwright install
```

No Código Python

Mesmo com os navegadores instalados, o script também precisa ser configurado para não travar ao acessar sites dentro da rede corporativa:

from playwright.sync_api import sync_playwright

with sync_playwright() as p:
    browser = p.chromium.launch(headless=False)
    context = browser.new_context(ignore_https_errors=True)
    page = context.new_page()
    page.goto("https://seu-site-interno.com")

Explicando o código:
- sync_playwright() abre e gerencia o ciclo de vida da automação, garantindo o encerramento correto;
- headless=False executa o navegador de forma visível (útil para depuração);
- ignore_https_errors=True impede que o navegador trave ao encontrar os certificados da rede interna.

Observações

As variáveis de ambiente criadas no terminal duram apenas naquela sessão. Configurar no PowerShell e executar o comando em outra janela (ou no CMD) não funciona, pois as configurações não são herdadas;
Caso o caminho até o certificado contenha espaços (Ex.: C:\Meus Documentos\cert.pem), manter o caminho completo envolvido em aspas duplas;
Se o terminal informar que o comando playwright não existe, verificar se o ambiente virtual está ativado (o nome dele deve aparecer entre parênteses no início da linha de comandos) antes de suspeitar do certificado.

Referências

Documentação oficial do Playwright - Instalação de Navegadores;
Documentação oficial do Node.js - Variável NODE_TLS_REJECT_UNAUTHORIZED;
Documentação oficial do Node.js - Variável NODE_EXTRA_CA_CERTS.

#playwright #ssl #proxy #windows #automation

today is yesterday

2026-09-14T23:26:00+00:00

my name is ned srinivasagam. i’m a physics grad student.

yesterday, i discovered free energy. today, i’m in another dimension.

my phone thinks its tuesday, april 12, 1981. i think it might be right.

玉、魂、宝(石)

2026-09-14T23:21:00+00:00

kanji research

you can use 霊 (as in 呪霊 (JUREI; curse spirit) or 怨霊 (ONRYOU; vengeful ghost)) for 魂 (TAMASHII, where 霊 is also read TAMASHII) meaning soul

霊 can also be read as TAMA which will also use bc 玉 (TAMA) can be used to refer to jewels or pearls

it also forms a primary radical in 宝石 (HOUSEKI; gemstone) so it would be possible to do a kanji wordplay referring to a 霊真珠 (REISHINJU) as a 玉石 ("HOU"SEKI) and it can have an alternate reading as "TAMASEKI" and that can be written as 魂石 (soul stone) or 霊石 (spirit stone)

all as different ways to refer to 霊真珠 the spirit pearl as a soul jewel

the HOU in HOUSEKI is 宝 (TAKARA; treasure) (宝石) for treasured / precious rock, but the primary radical is still 玉 for jewel (more archaic) (or modern day used for sphere or ball)

IV: I think having many ways to refer to one thing makes the world feel more real where the minor variations all can be used in different contexts that tell you different things about the speaker and it also hardwires the bilingual text into the story where the story MUST be presented Exactly like this

the japanese is INTRINSIC, not ornamental

and it can't exist in any way Other than written, bc the compounds have kanji differences (ie it couldn't be converted into an animation and it couldn't be written purely in the English alphabet)

any English speaker that disregards the translation differences or ignores the kanji altogether to try and pretend there is no Japanese involved is intentionally creating their own mistranslation of events

JOURNAL...9/14/2026

2026-09-14T23:17:57.775821+00:00

Hello again the void of the internet. I don't believe anyone out there is listening but at the very least I will have some record of my life in some form, somewhere in the deep bowels of the internet.

Work today went very well! I got a lot done and was in a good mood the entire time. The up swells of positive emotions, escape from the pain, is pretty amazing. They don't come often so I'm going to work hard to get in as many hours of work as I can before I fall back down again. But, for now, the day is good and that is good.

I made a decision today. I'm going to dream of being a writer, big dreams, and pursue it to the very ends. I have always had a secret dream of being a horror writer since I was in 3rd grade but my parents were insane and forced me to submit to their designs for my life under threat of physical violence. I swallowed even the idea I could be a writer and did not think of it until my husband loved my writing so dearly. I had a giant manic episode for 3 months and it sparked in me hope. Hope to have a dream to wish for. Hope that I had some kind of artistic skill and could create my own stories. I don't really have anyone in my life reading my stories or the book I published through KDP, which is a bummer but I know my writing is not for everyone. I am a child of Hermann Hesse and I don't know how to write any other way. This is my art. And so, I affirm the conviction within me that the pursuit of writing must continue regardless of publishing or not. I cannot survive without writing. I live now measured by my plans for books to publish. I came up with a book called The Rauk Probability Theorem from visions I had in mania. I'll write about that another day.

Dear stranger in the void, I declare I shall be published one day(just hopefully not posthumously) I do think it's a badge of honor to be dead when your books get published in history but it would be nice if it happened while I'm alive.

typewriter: a saga with pictures

2026-09-14T23:14:00+00:00

Here are the pictures of my typewriter... and my first attempt at using it.

Bonus picture: McKinley on said paper.

Rapid-fire Q&A

2026-09-14T23:09:00+00:00

What is the smallest thing for which you are grateful?

My pigma micron 05 fineliner.

Who has had the most positive impact on your life?

Chai Jing. Her book taught me to not think in black and white.

If you could use a time machine, would you rather have one that only goes back in time or only goes forward?

Wrong question. I wouldn't use it.

If you got a promotion, a job, a college acceptance, an accolade/award, or just generally accomplished something major, who is the first person you'd tell and how do you think they'd react?

My girlfriend: "I knew you could do it."

If you were an inanimate object, what would you be and why?

Water. It benifits for all beings while being humble about it.

Where do you wish you had grown up?

By the sea.

If you could be good at any profession without having to receive the accompanying education or trade experience, which would you choose?

Economics.

What is something you're terrible at but wish you could do well?

Socializing.

What is the quality you admire the most in the person you dislike the most?

The ability to be blissfully unaware (ignore) that they are being disliked by me.

What was the most recent thing that made you cry?

War scenes in the movie Once Upon a Time in the Middle East.

What are the books/movies/games that never get old and always make you feel better when you get down?

Minecraft.

What is the most trivial thing about which you have a strong opinion?

I don't like holding strong opinions...

If you could be any mythical creature, what would you be and why?

Some bird probably.

If you’ve had more than one job, which job taught you the most?

My first one taught me the importance of communication.

If you could change one thing about yourself physically, what would you change?

Probably nothing...

What single event or decision do you think most affected the rest of your life? Was there a turning point in your life?

(Not a particular point in time) Realizing that I am just a human being and nothing more.

What is the one thing you've made that you're the most proud of?

So far, this blog probably.

Some historical figures have epithets attached to their names, like The Mad or The Wise. What would you like yours to be?

The Compassionate

What was the best year of your life? The worst?

2024: I left my job for the first time and went travelling. 2020: I was actively avoiding contact with people during the pandemic when I actually needed it the most.

What one thing, whether it's something you did or something you made or something you caused to happen, would you like to be remembered by?

A good teacher that gave fun lessons.

Some Things Just Can’t Be Unseen 👀

2026-09-14T22:26:02.633303+00:00

My first weekend back at the campground went by fast. I’m loving the feel of fall in the air.

Mother Nature likes to tease us this time of year, though. Only time will tell what kind of autumn weather she has in store for us.

This morning, I went to the bathhouse in back of the campground to take a shower (there are 2 private shower rooms).

I opened the door of the closest room… but quickly closed it and marched straight to the other one without batting an eye.

The first room had huge wads of hair in the corners of the shower area. It looked like Cousin Itt took a shower 👀

My hair is just below my ears and there was more hair on the shower floor than I have on top of my head.

This wasn’t the worst shower I’ve seen, though. In the almost 11 years I’ve lived nomadic, I’ve only come across one shower worse than this one.

I was at a campground in the Outer Banks… in Rodanthe, North Carolina. There was hair everywhere… and that’s an understatement! It looked like a scene from Cousin Itt meets Sasquatch… tons of hair in the shower drain, sink drain, on the counter, everywhere!

Thing is, it wasn’t hair that had been cut… it was wads of hair.

I don’t gag easily but that brought me close.

The campground staff cleans regularly and I understand they can’t clean after every single person.

What I don’t understand is… how someone can lose so much hair?!?

Now that I’ve purged that image from my head and firmly imprinted it into yours... have a wonderful night! 😁

Connie 🌼

❀ ❀ ❀

Life Right Now

Whereabouts: In my Illinois hometown area. I’ll most likely be here until early October 🍂

Home Base: I’m back in the van, living the campground life.

❀ ❀ ❀

Reply with a message 📝

Previous •

Πρωϊνό

2026-09-14T22:13:18.758242+00:00

Μια ημέρα θα σηκωθώ το πρωί,
θα τακτοποιήσω το κρεβάτι μου,
θα ανοίξω τα παράθυρα να μπει ο ήλιος.

Θα ντυθώ για επίσημο γεύμα,
θα συμμαζέψω τα μαλλιά μου
και τα μούσια μου.

Στην κουζίνα θα μου φτιάξω ένα πρωινό
με λουκάνικα,
αυγά,
χυμό,
γάλα,
καφέ
και μαρμελάδες.

Θα το απολαύσω αργά και προσεκτικά.

Θα βάλω τα πιάτα για πλύσιμο,
θα μαζέψω τα ψίχουλα.

Στο μπαλκόνι θα βγω για τσιγάρο
και καπνίζοντας,
μαζί με τον καπνό
θα πετάξω και εγώ.

Photo Gallery

2026-09-14T22:06:00+00:00

Previous |

Death will not accept your Excuses

2026-09-14T21:51:20.172379+00:00

If you knew you were going to die tonight, there are things you would do before anything else. You would go to confession if you could, you would pray differently, you would remember the people you have wronged and the people you have refused to forgive, and being embarrassed or too proud to speak to them would suddenly seem like an absurd reason to leave something unresolved. There are sins people defend for years that they would abandon immediately if somebody could tell them truthfully that they had six hours left to live, and there are things people call necessary now that they would forget about before dinner.

Everybody knows they are going to die, but Knowing it obviously isn't enough. We have managed to turn death into a fact that requires almost nothing from us, something everybody agrees with and almost nobody permits to interfere with the way they live. The useful question is not whether you know you will die, but whether you have allowed that knowledge to correct anything. Has it made you quicker to repent ? Has it made you less proud ? Has it made possessions easier to lose, insults easier to forgive, prayer harder to postpone ? Has it made you more careful about what you permit yourself to become ? If not, then knowing you are mortal has done very little for you

There will be a final day and most people will not know when they have reached it. Somebody will wake up for the last time and still think they have next week. They may have plans for Tuesday, food in the refrigerator they intended to eat, something they ordered that hasn't arrived yet, a message they meant to answer and an argument they are still waiting to win. They may also have a confession they intended to make eventually, an apology they meant to give when they were less angry, a sin they were going to stop after one more time and a prayer life they were going to take seriously when everything became less busy. Death is not required to wait for any of those arrangements.

There will also be a last temptation, a last time you are corrected, a last opportunity to forgive somebody, a last opportunity to refuse a sin you have refused a hundred times before or commit it again because you assume there will be another confession afterward. One day God will give you an opportunity and there will not be another earthly opportunity after it. We don't know which ones those are, which is exactly why treating any opportunity to repent as disposable is so foolish.

people have become very comfortable saying God is merciful, and He is, infinitely more merciful than any of us deserve, but somehow mercy gets turned into permission to remain exactly where we are. God forgave me before, therefore i can delay confession. God has been patient, therefore He will provide another year. God understands my weakness, therefore weakness no longer needs to be fought, that is a terrible use of mercy. If somebody repeatedly pulls you out of a pit, gratitude should eventually include trying to stop climbing back into it.

Remember judgment. remember that the body you spend so much time satisfying will become a corpse. remember that the face you are proud of will decay, that the possessions you guard will be divided among other people, that somebody will clear your room, throw things away, decide what is worth keeping and eventually stop needing to make decisions about your belongings because there will be so little left. remember that praise cannot follow you very far and neither can humiliation.

I think we should be much harsher with ourselves about this. If an insult can occupy your mind for three years, remember the grave. If somebody's opinion can make you ashamed of Christ, remember the grave. If you are tempted to sin because you cannot imagine living without a particular pleasure, remember the grave. If you cannot bear losing money, beauty, status, comfort or the admiration of other people, remember that death is already going to take all of them. You can loosen your hands voluntarily or have them emptied eventually, but nobody leaves this life carrying what they spent it clutching, and remember judgment, because Christianity does not teach us merely that we die. We are not practicing detachment because corpses have no possessions. We are preparing to stand before God.

If you would confess tonight because death was coming, confess while death is merely unknown. If you would forgive your enemy tonight, forgive while you still have the humiliation of doing it without being forced. If you would throw away something sinful tonight, throw it away while surrendering it still costs you something. If you would suddenly find an hour for prayer, stop claiming there is no time. If you would beg God to let you repair something, repair it while He has already given you the opportunity, there is value in doing these things before terror makes the decision easy. Anybody can discover that possessions are worthless when they are already dying, learn it while you can still enjoy them. Anybody can stop caring about reputation when there is no reputation left to protect. Become less obedient to it while people can still laugh at you. Anybody can wish they had forgiven once the person they hated is dead. Forgive while the person is alive and the resentment still has to be killed deliberately. People sometimes speak as though thinking frequently about death would make somebody less alive. I think the opposite happens. A person who remembers death has less reason to waste an afternoon feeding resentment, less reason to spend years pretending they will repent eventually, less reason to organize an entire identity around being admired and much less reason to obey every appetite simply because it is loud. Eat, work, make things, love people, laugh, make plans and thank God for whatever is good, but stop behaving as though any created thing has promised to remain with you.

You were never promised old age. You were never promised enough time to become holy after you finish becoming comfortable. You were given today, and today contains enough work for repentance.

One day somebody will pray for the dead and your name may be among the names being remembered.

Καλέ μου

2026-09-14T21:50:00+00:00

Σε χλεύασαν καλέ μου, πίσω από κλειστές πόρτες γέλασαν μαζί σου.
Σε έκριναν καλέ μου, κάμερες τα μάτια τους, καταγραφικά της ζωής σου.
Σε έσυραν μέσα σε λαβύρινθους γελώντας για να σε παίξουν,
μα εσύ έγινες ο μίτος και ο οδηγός σου.

Σε μάτωσαν καλέ μου, με λόγια που αγκίστρια σε έσκισαν για τις κερασιές σου.
Σε μίσησαν καλέ μου, όπως η νύχτα φθονεί την πρώτη αχτίδα μόλις ξεπροβάλει.
Σε έριξαν να αγγίξεις το χώμα, εδώ θα αναστηθείς φωνάζαν καθώς σε πατούσαν,
μα εσύ ήσουν μια λυγαριά, ένα πλατάνι γεμάτο φωλιές και στο κρακ σου η σιωπή τους.

club penguin lookbook

2026-09-14T21:47:25.930756+00:00

Some Notes on Some Stories

2026-09-14T21:46:00+00:00

I've been working on a post that will be about 20k words. I suppose I could call it a novella if I was feeling fancy. I'm unsure of its quality, but I'm too far into it to not finish. If it is a sunk cost I've never been a particularly good rationalist, despite reading the blogs. I feel the need to publish something. It's been a year since I started taking writing seriously. So I thought I would make a brief comment about a few of my stories.

The Maker of MIND

This is the first story I wrote since high school, with the exception of short Twitter-length stuff and one very lazy story about modal realism. I wrote it for an SBF funded short story competition, but I never got it in on time. There are some good lines and a hidden story only one person has caught. But The Elect explores similar themes and I think it's much stronger.

That Mad Olympiad

I wrote an AI girlfriend story years ago called The Liar and the Scold.

(Interesting note about Liar: I invented the concept of heavenbanning while writing it. I made a fake NYT article about it, which I didn't end up using in the story, so I gave it to Near - who posted it in his famous tweet which popularized the term.)

I was always dissatisfied with The Liar and the Scold, and wanted to write an AI boyfriend story. I made several attempts, including a metafictional piece about a narrator who dates an AI based on a character in a fictional soap opera modelled on The O.C. This approach was maybe interesting to me and the three other people who remember that show fondly, so I scrapped it.

I put the idea on the back burner and moved on to The Company Man. Sonnet 3.7 was released shortly after, and it was the first model capable of producing short stories that were coherent. This was very upsetting to me, given I just had some success with my amateur fiction. I was extremely pissy about it for a few hours, but then I got the idea of the Lit Olympiad and distilling LLMs into human minds. Often, I find the concept while writing, but this time I knew the title beforehand, the central gimmick, and the narrator would be a young woman. After a few paragraphs, I found a place for an AI boyfriend. For some reason, it amused me to make him DFW.

Other things that influenced me as I wrote it: I had a friend who was playing an otome game called Love and Deep Space (Sylus was her poison) and was very fond of villainess manhwa. Tokyo Jupiter is a reference to RahXephon. Most of the authors and books the narrator mentions are favourites of mine. And I have similar opinions to the narrator regarding Amis, whose work I loved for a time but have mixed feelings about now. I also owe Amis a debt for persuading me to read Austen with his essay Jane's World.

Penny's Hands

I've been informed by Gwern that this is terrible. I still kinda like it, though I modified its ending to be less opaque a couple weeks after publishing. I've always found musician's dystonia terrifying. Whatever this story's vices, I think the concept is strong. I like the aesthetics of classical music, especially the image of the virtuoso pianist, but I don't listen to it much. It was fun to listen to a bunch for research, and particularly fun to write my impressions of the pieces mentioned while doing so. I worked pretty hard on the pseudo-neuroscience, so hopefully that was appreciated by someone.

Customer Satisfaction Opportunities After Inkhaven, I didn't publish for three months. I started dozens of stories but nothing stuck besides this and The Elect. At my wit's end, I started brainstorming stupid narrator ideas; and a security camera came to mind. I don't remember much else about writing it, except that it did not come easily. In some sense, it's spiritually related to That Mad Olympiad, as they both poke lovingly at certain tropes in romantic fiction and its fandom.

The Elect

I started writing this with one idea in mind. This being: something vaguely like Sandman's The Endless. It ended up being almost like a rewrite of Maker of MIND, another story of mine that owes some debt to The Metamorphosis of Prime Intellect. I wanted to hide a lot of mechanism, but hopefully have it be coherent. Some readers thought it was, some didn't. I referenced Kwan’s Rouge, because I was watching it the night before I wrote the section in which the narrator describes her appearance. I think it's a good image. The Lucifer/Avery thing is also a nod to Gaiman and Mike Carey's Lucifer.

Lobsang's Children

I wrote this after reading Borges for the first time. At Inkhaven 1, there were feedback circles. I thought the point of feedback circles was to bring in stuff that wasn't working. The real point is to bring in your strongest pieces to try to get everyone to pat you on the back. Boy did I feel like an idiot. Almost everyone there said Lobsang was unsalvageable. I was about to give up on it, and then I figured out the frame story. I'm pretty happy with the voice and how it turned out. It remains one of my least popular stories.

Quanto tempo serve davvero

2026-09-14T21:40:09.495424+00:00

Quando pensiamo a un progetto importante, tendiamo a immaginare che per portarlo avanti servano condizioni favorevoli: più tempo libero, meno impegni e una disciplina difficile da mantenere.

Per chi lavora, ha una famiglia o semplicemente molte cose da gestire, tutto questo può scoraggiare. Il progetto sembra impegnativo ancora prima di iniziare e finisce facilmente rimandato a un momento migliore.

Tim Urban, in una conversazione con Tim Ferriss, faceva un'osservazione semplice sulla scrittura. Tre ore al giorno per cinque giorni alla settimana significano quindici ore di lavoro. Su circa 112 ore di veglia settimanali, occupano una parte limitata della settimana. Ripetute per mesi, possono diventare sufficienti per portare a termine un libro.

Questo ragionamento vale anche oltre la scrittura. Poche ore regolari, mantenute nel tempo, possono diventare molte. È così che un progetto continua ad avanzare senza richiedere giornate interamente dedicate.

Il risultato finale tende a nascondere il processo. Vediamo ciò che è stato completato, molto meno il tempo distribuito lungo settimane e mesi che ha permesso di arrivarci.

La domanda, per chi ha giornate piene, è molto concreta: quale parte della mia settimana posso dedicare con continuità a qualcosa che considero importante?

Fonte - Tim Urban in conversazione con Tim Ferriss, The Tim Ferriss Show, episodio n. 283, 2018

0062

2026-09-14T21:20:00+00:00

Pretending you are out of breath when what you are really lacking is a sense of direction – sounds like a strategy, just like addressing a second person singular. The camera uses this purposeful but disoriented body as a springboard to rocket from the earth to the sky and keep swinging. Our hero becomes a cowboy again, with his head against the horizon. He seems at home in this negative space. This is the finish line, but not the end of the race. Another paradox.

Not Everything Has to Matter

2026-09-14T21:09:00+00:00

I used to get a lot of shit for the way I relate to my hobbies and interests. When I find something interesting, I tend to go all in. I’ll spend an inordinate amount of time (and sometimes, money) going down one rabbit hole after another. Some might say I have an obsessive personality, but I say that’s my prerogative.

What confuses people, and sometimes draws their ire, is how I just as suddenly lose interest. I don’t have an explanation for it, and I don’t think I need one, but I’ve often wondered why it elicits such a response from people close to me. I’ll get snarky comments like, “Oh, here we go again, Karl is into [X] now...”

Is an interest only valid if you hold onto it for years? Must hobbies be practiced for life in order to be meaningful?

I don’t think so.

I like to embrace whatever I’m doing wholeheartedly. The novelty inspires a unique fervor, the indulgence of which I find satisfying in the moment. When it fades, there’s no point holding on to it.

Think of it like a horse: I’m just wired to run at a full gallop. Tongue lolling, eyes wild, breath labored. If I slowed down, I might get more miles, but I’m never sure if the road even continues around the next bend. So, I go all out. The horse inevitably dies, and I’m on to the next one.

I refuse to feel ashamed of that. I shrug off the comments now, too old to really give a shit.

▼

For things that I actually want to last though, burnout is a real risk. It happens most often with lifting weights. I’ve worked myself into being properly sick before – insomnia, diminished recovery, flu-like symptoms, and (extra) depression.

The body and mind need a break every so often. These days, I program in a deload week every two months or so. Unfortunately, for this cycle, I think I still pushed it too far.

I walked into my home gym yesterday and couldn’t get started. Warming up felt like going to failure. I had zero energy or motivation to do anything. In my experience, it isn’t a matter of discipline at that point. When it feels like that, it means I’m well and truly cooked.

So, now I’m off for a week from the gym. Seven days to let my aching joints and fried CNS get back to baseline.

▼

I have to remind myself sometimes that it’s okay to let go of things. There’s nothing wrong with letting feelings dictate the direction and pace. Driving by vibes is perfectly valid, and no one can tell me otherwise.

Do what you want. Not everything has to be deep. Not everything has to matter.