Bear Blog Trending Posts

"Your Request To Close Your Amazon Account Has Been Confirmed".

2026-05-13T00:44:31.406625+00:00

Dear guys and gals, and everything in between and outside of it,

It is with pleasure that I announce that I just deleted my Amazon Account after many many years with it (10 maybe?).

To be honest, many things happen with Amazon that I've ignored because they don't directly affect me but, though the multiple scams I was a victim to in this platform made me think about the decision, ultimately all the other horrible stuff helped me take the final step.

Millenia we've lived with no Amazon, why do we need it now?
We don't, we believe it is convenient, but it makes you waste money on stuff you don't need by using their algorithmic shady practices. I started by spending a month without buying from Amazon. I saved a lot that month. Then I bought stuff I didn't need. Then I felt bad, and now I'm here.

We certainly don't need to buy so much stuff, we own too much, and the world is bleeding because of this. We put stuff in the thrash as it seems like it disappears from existence, but it does not. It goes somewhere, it stays somewhere. Recycled? Maybe a part of it. But the rest of the things you owned and no longer do and you put in the trash, is laying on a field somewhere. We need to be more conscious of the things we buy, the causes we support, the things we do everyday, not only for a fulfilling life, but so that we don't take fulfillment from others.

Have a nice night :D

How to make your blog more accessible, and why you should care

2026-05-12T19:07:00+00:00

Article written by Kami

Heya!

I've been on bear for a while now, and while it's been awesome to see everyones cool website designs, I still ocassionally run into blogs which make some easy to fix mistakes regarding accessibility. So, in this blogpost I want to quickly go through some easy things you can do to make sure that more people will be able to enjoy your blog.

Color Contrast

So, first up, the biggest thing that I see over and over on here: Color contrast.
Please, make sure your website has good color contrast. Simply take the color of the text, and the color of your background and input them into this website.

If both Normal Text and Large Text pass: You're good.

If they don't, fiddle around with your color choice a bit until you find some colors you like that also have decent contrast.

I think it's important to note here that good color contrast benefits everyone, not "just" people with visual disabilities. It's less straining to look at, and it'll ensure you posts remain readable even if, for example, you're sitting outside somewhere and the sun is causing plenty of screenglare.

I feel this is important to note, because I ocassionally see people saying that accessibility isn't important on their hobby website or blog, because of X or Y reason. If you want anyone (including yourself, mind you) to use your website, it's a good idea to care about these things - even if the usecase might seem non-obvious at first.

Not only because it's a nice thing to do for people who do have disabilities and want to view your site, but also because it helps out literally everyone else as well.

Do your future, outdoor-browsing self a favor and and improve your color contrast.

Alt Text

If you are going to add an image to your website, please give it some alt text. Alt text is a short description of an image for visually impaired people. It's also displayed if the image can't load for whatever reason. (For example, if the internet connection of the person reading your blog is too slow.)

Here's how to add alt text with markdown:

![A description of your image](https://link-to-your-image.com/image.webp)

Here's how to do it if you're using html:

<img src="https://link-to-your-image.com/image.webp" alt="A description of your image">

Generally, you should add alt text to any images you use. If your image is purely decorative, it is fine to ommit. If you're using html however, you should still add the alt attribute. Just leave it empty instead. That way, screenreaders know to ignore the image. Here's an example:

<img src="https://link-to-your-image.com/border.webp" alt="">

I think it's important to stress here that an image is only decorative if it does not convey any additional information. So, if the image is just used as a decorative border, for example.

If you're going to add HTML, make sure to use semantic HTML

If you're going to mark up something using HTML, please do a quick google search beforehand to check if there's a more specific HTML element you could use. What do I mean by that? Well, let's say you want to add a caption to an image. Maybe your first instinct is to do something like this:

<img src="https://link-to-your-image.com/image.webp" alt="Kami">
<div class="caption">A very cool image of Kami talking about web accessibility.</div>

Technically, this works. You can put this on your website, and it'll look fine enough. Thing is, people using screenreaders will have a harder time realizing that the caption actually belongs to that image. And on top of that, you're gonna have to put in some additional effort to make it look nice.

If you take maybe a couple minutes or so to look up if there's a better fitting element though, you might end up with something like this instead:

<figure>  
  <img src="https://link-to-your-image.com/image.webp" alt="Kami">  
  <figcaption>A very cool image of Kami talking about web accessibility.</figcaption> 
</figure>

Not only will this be much nicer to read on a screenreader, the figcaption element actually comes with some built-in styles that will make it look more like... well, a caption. If you're lucky, the theme you're using might already have some built-in styling for it!

The same thing goes for basically anything you want to mark up with html. Before going off and making your own completely custom class, try and see if there's a nice HTML element you can use as a jumping off point.

Use headings properly

It can be tempting to misuse <h1>, <h2> and so forth and # Markdown Headings purely to get differently sized text. And while that may look nice, that's not actually what you should use headings for.

Semantically, headings are landmarks. They're used to denote the different sections of your text. This is useful for people navigating your website using the keyboard or a screenreader. They'll be able to jump to those places in the text.

If you don't actually want to use a heading for its intended purpose of marking different sections of the text, add a css class to your theme, like this for example:

.text-large {
font-size: large;
}

<p class="text-large">This text is big just because it looks nice!</p>

It's also very important that you have your headings in the right order. If you're making a post, <h1> and its markdown equivalent # Heading will always be taken by your post title.

So, if you want to mark a new section you should use either <h2> or ## Heading. If you then want to add subsections to those sections, you can use <h3> or ### Heading and so on and so forth. If you're adding a page to your blog, the <h1> slot won't be taken up, so you'll be able to use that instead for your toplevel heading.

If you don't follow these rules, your post will be rather annoying to navigate via keyboard only or with a screenreader.

So, Don't do it like this:

# The Title of My Very Cool Article
Hello guys, today I will tell you why I'm very awesome and attractive. Here it goes.

# Why I'm so awesome
Some text goes here 

# The biggest reason
I'm very cool and awesome because my website respects user preferences
Some more text
And even more text

# Another reason   
I've got incredibly good taste in books,
and have read all of lord of the mysteries

# A different topic
Some more text

Do it like this instead!

# The Title of My Very Cool Article
Hello guys, today I will tell you why I'm very awesome and attractive. Here it goes.

## Why I'm so awesome
Some text goes here 

### The biggest reason
I'm very cool and awesome because my website respects user preferences
Some more text
And even more text

### Another reason   
I've got incredibly good taste in books,
and have read all of lord of the mysteries

## A different topic
Some more text

Use rem for font sizes

If you're making your own theme, or adapting an existing one, please use rem for font sizes instead of something like px. Unlike px, rem is not a static unit. How large one rem is changes with the font size setting the user has set.

This means, that if a user has set their browser to use a larger than normal font-size for whatever reason, your website will respect that preference. If you use a static unit like px, users will have to manually scale up your website - which is annoying.

So, be nice to users that prefer larger or smaller than normal font-sizes, and instead of doing this:

.elem {
	font-size: 16px;
}

Do this:

.elem {
	font-size: 1rem;
}

Aaaand, that's all for now!
There's obviously a lot more you could talk about when it comes to this stuff, but taking some time to implement just these tips where appropriate will already make reading your blog a much nicer experience for everyone who might want to do that.

Including future you!

So, do yourself and everyone else who might enjoy your website a favor, and make sure that it's accessible.

Thank you for reading this far, and if you've got any additional questions/feedback, you can email me at kami@kamiscorner.xyz.

Graduated Community College

2026-05-12T14:42:50.581234+00:00

Well, I did it. I now have my Associate Degree. Took me a few years of stop-and-go attendance, but I eventually did it. Half-assing it, I finished out with a cumulative 3.5 GPA, so I'm pretty happy with that.

I graduated with a major in general studies with an emphasis on CS. You're probably wondering "what the fuck is 'general studies'?" It's basically just a degree you get for doing the Gen Ed requirements. It transfers nicely and doesn't lock you into any one major. It is a pretty useless degree in the sense nobody is going to be urgently hiring people with GenStudies degrees, but it's great for just taking out the Gen Ed requirements and it transfers nicely to universities. So if you're planning on going to a 4-year university, consider a gen studies degree at a community college. You can take elective classes for the major you'll want in a 4-year, and it'll be a hell of a lot cheaper.

I talked with a counselor and it would basically zero out the university I'm planning on attending's Gen Ed requirements, and I can focus entirely on my ACTUAL major.

If you know me well enough, you know that my long-term goal is to become a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, i.e. a therapist. So, that's what my major will be in, Social Work. I'm taking a break this summer to kinda give myself a breather before trying to hit hard on my bachelor's degree.

So, yeah, that's pretty much it. Got a degree. Now I'm on to bigger and better things. Best of luck to me lol.

Previous |

Reply via email: me@absurdpirate.com

as of writing this...

I woke up this morning and considered calling out, but I just decided to go into work today. I'll be home kinda early and can just kinda relax while my daughter is with her grandpa. I added some chill, low-stim music to my iPod. This new addition is Ambient 1: Music for Airports by Brian Eno.

Eliminating faith words

2026-05-12T16:24:00+00:00

I am making a concerted effort to eliminate "faith words" from my vocabulary. Words like belief, faith, luck, miracles, god-given, divine, and anointed. I am also trying to eliminate the use of phrases like 'I have faith that', 'I believe x', 'it's a miracle that', 'thank god that' and so on.

I want my words, thoughts, and actions to speak to what I know, and what I am learning to be true, rather than what I wish and hope to be true without knowledge or reason.

Instead of saying 'I have faith that...' I can say 'It would be wonderful if'. Instead of saying 'it's a miracle that...' I can say 'It is fortunate that'.

It's okay to hope for things. It's okay to believe something to be true. But I don't personally feel that it's okay to place hope and belief in the hands of something that doesn't exist. I want to exemplify that thought in my every day language. I want to be in charge of the hopes and beliefs I hold.

No ai means no ai

2026-05-11T23:19:00+00:00

I posted a quick thought on my Mastodon feed:

I am seeing more posts and calls for submissions that note “no ai” but it’s ok for brainstorming or storyboarding or blah blah blah…
“No ai” should mean just that no ai.
“But no one would know…”
Integrity is doing the right thing even when no one is looking.[^1]

It got a little traction, so I must have hit a nerve. Now, I am not a coder, I know practically nothing, and had to do a lot of reading just to get this site to look not ridiculous. My comments therefore aren’t aimed at the tech space. I write. I read. I take pictures. I love art. And what I want—as it appears do others—is honesty, integrity, genuineness.

I am hereby imploring the artists, writers, photographers, to be true to the craft. Keep it real as they say. I read enough ai slop in marketing, newspapers, corporate emails. Let’s keep the arts pure and the artists honest. That way we can lie and make up the world in a genuine manner.

[^1]:No ai means no ai

Reply to this post

Rational Discussion

2026-05-11T23:10:00+00:00

tagged as: #fragment #comics

Trying to discuss politics in 2026 feels like Spider-Man arguing with Sauron.

I miss when “don’t create dinosaurs” felt like the default position.

cross-stitching my favorite album covers

2026-05-11T18:30:00+00:00

When I was in my early/mid-teens, my dream was to work on MTV. When I was in my late teens, my dream was to make album covers. I did neither, but now that I'm OLD I decided to cross-stitch my favorite album covers of my favorite bands, because why not? I decided to start with The Libertines, of course, 'cause I love the band and this album cover is perfect.

The Libertines, 2004

They continue to make great music, by the way, and there's this video they released last year that always makes me smile.

Reply to this post.

or don't.

one month on bearblog !!

2026-05-10T22:18:00+00:00

it's been a whole month since i first posted on bearblog. i guess today is my ?blogiversary?

i've really got into the swing of things now with posting and reading blogs every day so far this month. it's so inspiring to hear what others have to say and i look forward to reading what's new.

the analytics section of bearblog is fantastic - i can't believe i've reached 54 countries! if you've never checked before, i seriously recommend you do.

thank you if you've ever given me an up vote (i like to think of this as a nod) as you've made me feel seen.

i look forward to my next month: to keep posting, to keep growing and to keep being inspired. if you're a lurker and you're thinking about posting, just do it. the amount of joy i get from this platform is just fantastic and i'd love for you to feel the same way (#notsponsored) <3

light mode, lighter mood

2026-05-10T20:09:00+00:00

After dark mode became a thing, I started using it everywhere. Recently I decided to change some things back to light mode. Even light mode can brighten my mood since I haven't been feeling very well these days.

So I thought, why not change my blog too? My blog represents me somehow, right? Let's make myself a little brighter :)

I hope my light blog can help me pass my driving test haha Ahhh why am I so nervous? D:

As for other people, if someone is even interested in what I write, I hope it can bring a calm and hopeful feeling to someone out there. Ah, and sorry for the flashbang if this is not your thing....

Hey you, start communicating!

2026-05-10T14:59:00+00:00

Yes you!

It's time to reach out, be nice, and say hello to strangers. It costs nothing and can make someone's day.

Me, I'm a chatty person. Not all the time. However, people make the world more interesting.

Back to the point of this!

When I am reading someone's website, I am often moved to reach out to them. It can be as simple as a "Hi, I really liked your post", or something more specific about the topic. One thing I hope I never am is rude. I have zero tolerance for rudeness.

Not all websites / blogs have a comment section (shame!), but many have a like button, or an email option.

Use the like; acknowledge that you read the page -- unless of course you completely disagree with the contents!

Forget the argument that it's about collecting likes. Nonsense. That was for social media 'influencers' desperate for attention and validation. On a web page it's a friendly gesture to say Hello

Take it further

If there's an option, send them an email if you want to say a little more. Some website authors are averse to comments -- that's fine; their choice. If they've included an email (perhaps on a contact page), they welcome communication.

I can send several emails a day to people who have written something. I might just say how much I liked it, or maybe I will ask them to expand on something as I am genuinely interested.

Touch someone!

No, not with your hands! I mean, by communicating.

Recently I took twenty seconds out of my day and pinged an email to someone about a blog post. I really enjoyed it and wanted to say so.

The person later replied and said:

This is the first time in my blogging journey that someone has reached out about something I wrote 🤩.

I published the post and went to sleep, then woke up to this email.

That person was clearly delighted, and I was too.

It was not difficult and we both felt better and it put a smile on our faces.

Do it!

I encourage you to do it too. I can't believe for one second you would not like receiving such emails. And equally, there are times when you want to say Hi.

I welcome comments on all my posts. My email address is in my contact page. I don't mind if I get no communication for posts. I'm not here for kudos. I enjoy wittering on in my writing -- great if someone else likes it.

I'm honoured and touched to say that I regularly receive emails and comments from readers to my blog. It makes my day that someone has read it, and also wants to take time to reach out. Not everyone will agree with what I write, and I enjoy hearing other opinions.

It's not a validation thing -- it's a basic human desire to be pleasant and supportive.

Here are a few other posts in the spirit of my post:

Sebastian at Finest Day: Tell them that somebody cared
Alex White: Responding
Kev Quirk: Responding
JTR from The Art Of Not Asking Why: About writing other bloggers Email
Andrew, in 2024: Save the Web by Being Nice

home is where i want to be

2026-05-10T23:29:00+00:00

I'm back in New York, after spending last weekend at home. You know, it's strange — every time I go home people ask me whether I like New York, and without hesitation I always say I do. Yet at home I always find myself wishing I could stay longer and cannot ever remember missing New York when I am away.¹ Maybe that is a sign that I have truly settled in here.

Yunnan rice noodles with tofu, 豆花米线. Silky tofu pudding, rice noodles, pickled vegetables, chili oil. Maybe a trip to 昆明 is in my sights?

J asked me in class the other day if I identify as a New Yorker. My answer always depends on who is asking me and where we are. If on my travels someone asks me where I am from I say that I am from New York. But here when people ask me where I'm from I always tell them where home is.

I have never had a bad visit back home, but this time felt particularly nice, perhaps because it was so short. I ate lots of good food and spent time with my parents and played soccer and cards and caught up with friends on long walks in the forests. I missed it all dearly — the warmth, the sun, the greenery, the people, the tranquility. Now that Spirit has gone belly up I worry these cheap getaways will be harder to come by.

Bibim naengmyeon (비빔냉면), cold spicy buckwheat noodles. One of my warm weather favorites.

At home I asked on a whim how grandfather was doing. "He died last week," Dad said. And you didn't think to tell me? He didn't even fly back for the funeral. I should be used to it by now, but somehow now that I'm older it bothers me more how small a role our extended families play in our lives. Last summer when I visited him at the nursing home for the first time in more than a decade his mind was already mostly gone. He misidentified me and cursed at me and my dad for things I mostly could not make out² in dialect while his attendant looked on awkwardly. In spite of it all, I feel grateful to have seen him once more before he passed. Ted Hughes quoting the Greeks: live as though all your ancestors were living again through you. Even if they are upset at me for reasons beyond my control, I want to know them while I still can.

* * *

Going home is also synonymous with doctor's appointments. While waiting to see my primary care physician I was filling out this standard mental health self-assessment and since I had been feeling listless the first question made me think long and hard. Mom asked me what was taking so long so I pointed at it and said that "1 — several days" was probably the most accurate answer. "Don't be silly," she said. I filled in zeroes all the way down. This exchange just about sums up talking about mental health with my parents. In hindsight, I'm not sure I would do anything differently, since I have a hard time imagining what my primary care physician would do about that, and I would rather not discuss that with him.

My mood takes on a distinctly different quality when I am at home. It is buoyed by the time with friends and family and among the trees. At the same time it is harder for me to fall asleep there (maybe due to the sun being out later?) and easier to accidentally stare into the void. In the half-moments between activities I catch myself doomscrolling, maybe subconsciously avoiding the discomforting nothingness of suburbia.

(Yesterday I woke up at 6 AM to play 2 hours of pickup soccer; it was the most fun I'd had in weeks. I see that as the real canary in the coal mine. If one day I find myself not enjoying my most beloved hobby, I know something will have gone wrong. After the breakup I remember going to play a game of pickup and even through tears I kept playing still. That's love as I know it.)

* * *

Yesterday V took me and A out to eat at Up Thai, where the food was pleasant in spite of my prejudices. I usually try to avoid Thai food because I have had so much mediocre Thai food out in small American towns, and some bad experiences like the owner of a Thai restaurant in the boonies threatening me and calling me a "freak" for wearing a mask to his aggressively gun-friendly restaurant during peak COVID times. This dinner was fortunately not that and I even made a friend on the walk there, though he did not seem to pay attention to much anything besides the trash can.

On the way back home a couple was asking everyone on the platform if they spoke Spanish. No one on the platform understood them until they got to me; I took it upon myself to escort them to the exit they were looking for, walk them to the station they were transferring to, and see to it that they were on the right platform (though not before getting lost myself in the maze of construction-related detours). On our little walk they told me they were from Venezuela and that they had actually been living in my home state (!) before the ICE crackdowns made them flee to New York. I often struggle with questions of purpose and the crushing monotony of corporate life and then a moment like this makes me realize just how good I have it. I hope they make it, whatever it is they want to do. They called me their little guardian angel and maybe I am naïve but I like to think that most New Yorkers would have done the same.

Lu rou fan (braised pork rice) bento from Gulp. A called me in the middle of my afternoon nap to ask if I wanted to get lunch, and even though I see her more than I see anyone else, I extricated myself from my sheets and got dressed. Asking me to hang out is as valid a reason as any to wake me up from a nap.

* * *

E is visiting this weeks and rallied the troops for lunch at Hamido Seafood. B, who I have not seen for something like a year, asked me what was new. I had nothing for him. Nothing ever happens in my life (until it does, of course), though I am also starting to think that this is in part because I am not writing. The food was good, and the restaurant very busy.

Moments before this photo was taken, the lobster on the right had crawled out and almost escaped the display case. Lobsters are such strange, magnificent creatures.

Before lunch I visited a hatmaker I had been trying to catch. Last month E pointed our her stall to me as we browsed an outdoor maker's market and I took her card and thought about the hats regularly in the weeks that followed. Today I made a beeline for her booth right as it opened and found her as she was setting up. I tried on a few hats for size, appraising them in the little handheld mirror she handed me, and then spotted one on the far side of the table. When I put it on, she went, "Oh! That's the one!" And that it was — I knew as soon as I looked in the mirror. I love that feeling, of being chosen by an article of clothing. As someone with a limited budget I struggle to justify buying local and/or artisan, so it feels like a nice treat to have been able to do so. When it goes right, it is such a lovely process from start to finish: coming across them serendipitously, feeling their things in hand, meeting the maker, walking away having made a little connection³. Seeing the look on her face when I bought the hat was worth the price alone. And oh do I love a good hat.

Though I am certain I would if I moved away.↩
I think he harbors some resentment about his oldest son moving so far away and never visiting, and as the oldest son of his oldest son that resentment transfers to my shoulders too. There is a rift between those of us that move away and those that stay. In this side of the family, we are the only ones to have left the motherland.↩
And knowing that the money isn't going to some private equity fund or someone completely removed from the production process.↩

Ocarina of Time Hits Differently as an Adult

2026-05-10T22:43:00+00:00

School has finished, but I won't start my Summer job for another week or so, so I haven't had much to do.

I've found myself replaying The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. Even though I'm a little zoomer, this game was a big part of my childhood. My brother is substantially older than I am, and he'd grown up with an N64. I probably spent hours playing on it as a kid, it was my first introduction to video games.

I'm a bit more than halfway through the game, and I've been enjoying it--partly because of nostalgia, partly because it's just a good game. But, I think I've come to appreciate the story in a way I didn't really as a child. And it feels far more melancholy.

You begin the game as a Kokiri, a race of eternal children. You venture out into the wider world, and you find it to be a good and wholesome place. The castle town is lively and filled with happy people. Kakariko Village is a sleepy town at the foot of the mountains. The guy who runs Lon Lon Ranch is a doofus, but he's a goodhearted doofus, and you can't help but like him.

Then, you become an adult, and everything is darker--the castle - town is destroyed and overrun by zombies, Kakariko Village is hiding the government's clandestine torture operation. And you return to the Kokiri Forest, and it's changed too. It's more scary and complicated, there are monsters everywhere. The other Kokiri only sort of recognize you. Your closest friend--Saria--is nowhere to be found. And when you do find her, you find that she isn't the same person you knew as a child, not at all.

This is a surprisingly poignant story about growing up. You are thrust into the real world, and you find that it's far darker and more complicated than you thought. You come home, but you don't belong there anymore. You've grown apart from your old friends, you won't ever see some of them again. Everything is subtly unfamiliar in a hundred different ways. There may not be monsters roaming the streets, but you notice problems you didn't before. You're disturbed by things you didn't notice as a child. Everything flows and nothing stands still.

I didn't expect to be this affected by a kid's game from 1998. To some extent, it's a reflection of my current circumstances. I am a newly minted adult. I have come home and found that it isn't home anymore. But, I'm sure that some of it was intentional. The game was not made by children, after all.

simple equals happy

2026-05-11T22:45:00+00:00

it seems that subconsciously the majority of my hobbies come from a simpler time. the art of reading has been a positive influence and gives me something to look forward to and unwind after a long day at work.

the book i’m reading right now¹ is set in 1950’s maine. the main character is able to travel back in time from 2011 to 1958 from his local diner’s pantry in an attempt to save the president from being assassinated.

although i’m not far along, i find myself visualising what 1958 would look like. so far in the story i’m noticing the lack of regulations (health and safety) and being able to operate on a cash basis, especially because your money went further. can you imagine operating without a bank account in 2026? life appears to be a whole lot simpler.

i’m not living in 1958, but with my hobbies being so simple i think i could. if you’ve read the blog before, you know i love to read, go to the movies, listen to my records and travel.

there are two items in my cupboard that are looking for a little love. there’s a polaroid camera (refurbished in milwaukee) and a typewriter. they’re both beautiful and in great condition. all i’d need is paper, ink and film.

i find the typewriter fascinating. i’d love to be able to use one for work but unfortunately the computer wins in this scenario. guess i’ll just have to find a way to use it in my spare time instead ;)

learning to appreciate the simple things is a gift and as long as it keeps me happy, i’ll keep on doing it. life is truly grand!

11.22.63 by stephen king (2011)↩

creativity is a courageous act

2026-05-09T23:41:02.738406+00:00

I recently got a lovely email from Amanda who mentioned to me about resonating with one of my recent posts ¹.

My form of creativity is writing and I think the big problem around writing is that is meant to be as 'simple' as writing a lot, but for those of us who aren't trying to write generic 'content', it's not that easy.

Writing takes courage and I don't mean that as a wishy-washy statement, you have to be able to push through knowing that what you post may be picked up by friends, family and even employers. You need to be able to push through that voice that screams that nobody cares about what you have to say.

For those who are posting more educational or research-driven pieces, there is a fear of being wrong, or of not having checked sources correctly (which I imagine is only getting worse with A.I.).

For me, it's got to a point where I truly am doing this for myself, I don't mean that I don't want to share it, but I accept that some things might land and others might not, which is okay.

As long as I continue to enjoy what I'm doing and sharing whatever it is I feel like sharing.

If that happens to resonate with even one person, then that's incredible and I thank each and every one of you who have reached out to me via email to have a conversation.

For those of you who haven't got to the point of being able to 'let go' as it where, I urge you to have the courage to push through, to continue to share whatever is in your heart and your mind, because it's more than worth it - even if it's something that only you read in a few months time.

Just know that I support each of you who chooses to publish something authentic to themselves in whatever form that takes, because creativity is a courageous act and it deserves to be celebrated.

Enjoy this?

You can subscribe with your email, get the feed or you can email me directly.

That post can be found here ↩

being alone is awesome

2026-05-09T22:53:30.024300+00:00

do you ever have moments where you fear of being alone? perhaps you see your friends thriving with a mortgage, a husband and a child. you then start to compare yourself to them and wonder where you went wrong. you ensure you're busy with an action packed weekend of constantly doing something so you're never thinking about how alone you are. it didn't always used to be this way. you used to be content doing nothing. two days off work used to mean playing super mario odyssey and you were happy.

let me let you in on a secret, there's nothing wrong with being alone.

your friend that's constantly posting about how happy she is with her husband & kids is just one side they want you to see. you don't see the part where they're arguing and the kid is driving them up the wall every single day. social media is a lie most of the time. it's easier said than done but don't compare yourself to anyone!!

a good 85% of my trips abroad have been solo travel and i wouldn't have it any other way. yes sometimes you want to share a moment with someone, but the freedom feels so much better. doing whatever you want vs. compromising is the best feeling.

i had the house to myself today, just me and my dog. i spent a lot of time reading (i finished my book yay!) and recharging. i used to worry a lot about being alone or doing nothing with my time off but i'm slowly finding ways to fill my time, doing things that make me happy & worry less about the future.

being alone is awesome and so am i!

Not all of my mother-in-law's new anime figs are winners

2026-05-11T03:52:00+00:00

So, I've decided not to to tell her.

How do you even bring it up otherwise??

"Yeah, so her boots are intentionally put to the side... They didn't have to include empty boots as part of this figure btw. And now she's playing video games with her prominently featured feet."

10/10 guest bedroom

I should prolly tell her who mikuru and homura are tho

sodas of yore: strange drinkables from new york in 1915

2026-05-09T07:12:00+00:00

weather: ☀️ goodbye clouds
critters: my cat (i stayed inside all day)

today i flipped through the dispenser's formulary, an american tome of recipes and knuckle-swatting advice for an aspiring soda jerk.

notes

the authors want to be absolutely clear with you that bad hygiene and slovenly habits and cheaping out on ingredients are unforgivable at the soda fountain. i've noticed that how-to manuals from this period can be pretty bossy, but maybe we need some of that when it comes to health hazards.
some of the "luncheonette" offerings (p196) would go fantastically on my low-effort sandwiches page.
there is a brief discussion and a couple of recipes on p86 for what they call "kumyss." i was like, gee, i've never heard of that, must be another extinct drink type. then i read "prepared by the tartars from the milk of mares" and realized i totally had heard of it--i just knew it by the mongolian name airag. i would never have imagined seeing airag in this context, but it seems it was popular back then. (the book's recipes use cow's milk, of course.)
speaking of subverted expectations, there's a lot less apple than i thought i'd see, and a lot more pineapple, and way more grape--as juice and as wine. we have really denormalized day-drinking outside of brunch. that said, most of the fruity soda recipes are variations on familiar themes of cherries and berries and citruses that would seem pretty normal today.

quotes

In former years it was the general custom to use nothing but essences and extracts for soda beverages, but during the last ten years a change has taken place and nearly all first-class dispensers are using pure fruit syrups and so-called crushed or liquid fruits." (p34)

It has been well said that "drinks may come and drinks may go but the orange phosphate goes on forever." (p61)

"Use coloring matter sparingly and eschew the old fashioned 'foams.' Brilliant, frothy sodas are suspiciously unpopular these days." (p30)

"Remember that syrup making is not a boy's job—it is a fine art." (p30)

some adorable names

"fairies' wish" (p37), a soda syrup of cream, vanilla, and strawberry.

"sea-side shake" (p81), a shake like a grape-orange julius.

"may queen fizzette" (p40), a soda syrup of blood orange, raspberry, wine, rose, and pineapple. the "palm beach queen" (p44) is similar, but with grape juice instead of wine.

"razzle-dazzle" (p61), a pineapple-ade with a little raspberry vinegar, which i believe here indicates the same thing as raspberry shrub. max miller made a nice video about it a while back. raspberry shrub is also called "raspberry sharp" in the book (p46), and there is a recipe for a peach shrub on p42.

some inexplicable drink names

"silurian" (p47), a phosphate syrup of rosewater and pineapple juice. my head went straight to the silurian period, but it could be named for the actual tribe. maybe the celts were pineapple farmers.¹

"japanese thirst killer" (p63), an orgeat phosphate with angostura bitters. don't just quench your thirst! kill it dead! i can't say what makes this flavor profile specifically japanese. a lot of the recipes called "japanese" here involve almond generally. i wonder why?

"crown prince fizz" (p53), a strawberry-citrus soda that sounds like a rainbow brite character. was it named after edward VIII? i guess my countrymen have been obsessed with the british monarchy for a lot longer than i thought.²

"quaker freeze" (p55), a raspberry-grape-orange slushie. 'religious society of friends freeze' must not have rolled off the tongue.

syrup: "burbank special" (p36)

Plum extract ......... 2 drams
Quince extract ........ 2 drams
Fruit acid ........... 4 drams
Pineapple juice ...... 10 ounces
Simple syrup ......... 1 gallon
Mix well. Serve as a phosphate.

"fruit acid" refers to a 1:1 solution of citric acid in water or alcohol (p24).

the syrup may be named after luther burbank, a horticulturalist responsible for many fruit and vegetable cultivars, among them several plums and quinces (and a beautiful white blackberry cultivar).

i think we're missing out on certain fruit flavors in our national palate. plums and quinces aren't even exotic in this country, but they're hardly used as flavorings. we should try it more.

syrup: "don't care" (p36)

Blackberry juice, 1 quart bottle; grape juice, 1 quart bottle; lemon syrup No. 2, 1 pint; granulated sugar, 4½ pounds.
Dissolve the sugar in the fruit juices at the boiling point, strain, and when cool, add the lemon syrup. Especially good for use in phosphates—8 ounces, 5 cents.

this was definitely invented by a soda jerk who got sick of making decisions for noncommittal customers. or it's like that restaurant named something like "i don't know, you pick."

there's a version of don't care syrup immediately below this one that calls for brandy. it's five o'clock somewhere???

egg milk thing: "arion" (p79)

Apricot syrup ...... ½ ounce
Peach syrup ....... ½ ounce
Rose syrup ........ ½ ounce
Plain cream ........ 2 ounces
Egg ............... 1
Ice ................ ¼ glass
Shake, strain, toss and serve. Price—12 ounces, all milk, 15 cents.

there are entire genres of drink in this book that barely exist anymore unless you make them yourself. one of these is the egg drink, which i don't think you could persuade most people to try these days. mmm, salmonella. nonetheless, this flavor combo would definitely appeal to me at the old-timey soda fountain. floral flavors are underrated and i'm glad they're on their way back in.

isn't it odd that the drink called an 'egg cream' doesn't have an egg? and this one does, but the name doesn't begin to suggest an egg. bewildering.

hot thing: "hot stuff" (p93)

Beef extract ....... ½ teaspoonful
Clam bouillion ..... 1 teaspoonful
Sweet cream ....... 1 tablespoonful
Port wine ......... 1 teaspoonful
Place in mug which fill with boiling water. Serve with salt, pepper and celery salt.

the authors helpfully inform us that hot drinks like this one were invented to bolster foot traffic during the cold months (p89). all this conjures up for me personally is the childhood amalgamemory of drinking beef broth every time i got the flu.

the name is fun, though. "gimme the hot stuff."

milkshake: "clam milk shake" (p72)

Clam juice ......... 1½ fluid ounces
Milk .............. 2 fluid ounces
Soda water ........ 5 fluid ounces
Add a pinch of salt and a little white pepper to each glass; shake well. Price—8 ounces, 5 cents.

i learned from this book that ice cream was not always a necessary feature of milkshakes.³ the basic chocolate shake recipe in here is just chocolate milk with whipped cream on top. i've always been pretty tepid towards milkshakes as an extension of my tepid feelings towards ice cream. after perusing the ice creamless milkshakes in the book, i realized why i like milk teas from boba shops so much--they're flavored milks with zero ice cream, as god intended.

i also learned from this book that it is possible to make a milkshake out of anything.

a chowder is a kind of milkshake, if you think about it.

while trying to puzzle this out, i found this very cool book of drawings of silurian fossils, from 1872.↩
i will never forget when one of my elderly lady professors referred to wallis simpson as a "floozy."↩
according to p27, ice cream was not always obligatory for floats, which used to be ginger ale or grape juice on top of a drink. an "ice cream float" had to be specified.↩

Social media has never been more distant from my life

2026-05-10T02:18:00+00:00

I recently stumbled upon many blogs, articles, forum posts, etc., about the idea of quitting social media for good. I don't think I need to explain why this is a wonderful thing because we all know how much of a detriment social media is to our psyche. But it got me thinking about my time on social media prior to quitting it completely.

I remember using apps like Instagram and Twitter on my phone in high school. After some negative experiences with them and seeing so much negativity through the feeds I'd receive by computer instructions, I decided to just stop using them altogether. I guess the only "social media" services I use to this day could be Reddit (although I usually look for technical help on it; otherwise, if there's a dedicated forum, I'll just use that) and also use YouTube (if you could call it "social media"), which can be somewhat addictive if I'm not careful with my time, although my habitual relationship with YouTube has been improving recently.

I used to think that being highly sensitive was a bad thing, and now I think the complete opposite. My high sensitivity helps me avoid conflicted and polarizing content online, as well as other pointlessly toxic ecosystems in different parts of the internet. I have never liked engaging with drama personally, as I grew up in schools where there were always fights and so much drama within one of my middle school friend groups, to the point where I lost contact with them after high school started.

And honestly, I dislike the content we have on YouTube that shows up in my recommendations from time to time. I dislike the current drama that seems to revolve around politics (I'm not a political person whatsoever), as well as drama related to gaming or even technology. I say the word "dislike" instead of "hate" because I don't typically hate anything, and "hate" is a very strong word.

Hopefully this blog post doesn't sound too much like a vent (I personally don't like venting online for reasons I may discuss in a future blog). I wish to be more positive in the cyberspace where positivity seems to be absent. I love blogging now, as I write my thoughts, feelings, and opinions on anything I want, on a platform where I can feel like I belong.

Contact me!

told my friend I have a blog

2026-05-09T16:19:35.273571+00:00

I finally told my friend I have a bearblog! I was inspired by one of my fave blogger's article and decided to announce the existence of this place to my beloved friend. If you're reading this: alligator and sheep have one thing in common, what is it? (Yeah, it's an inside joke). I write for the joy of it and here I allowed myself to share. It's nice to make a change (bravely show up out here as I am) and do something new. My blog was, at first, like a half improvised sketch, it didn't really have a form yet. What I used to write was just the result of me trying to adjust from paper to screen, from personal journal to blog that other souls may stumble upon. I shared this funny thought with my friend, all these months (while I was totally safe using the free plan, no visibility in the discovery feed), I was pregnant with my blog! I mean, I had no vision, I was testing the waters, the same way one does as they try on new shoes. But it's when you allow yourself to try things that everything starts to take place, even when you're uncertain about it, you can figure it out as you go. The blog went through a total restyling a few times and the things I write have evolved into something more clear and free I'd say. More authentic. I called it true self because I'm really expressing what I feel and think, all of myself, no filters. And my friend knows me without a filter but it was time to show it now because the blog feels...real, like it truly reflects who I am. Writing is like playing an instrument... as you learn to attune it, you're able to play it better, it progressively becomes harmonious.

Apart from that, I still enjoy writing anonymously. I can make mistakes and still shrug about it, I'm a human after all. And it's a personal blog. I have every right to write whatever I want. No more tiptoeing around or feeling like I have to ask for permission from God knows who, to express who I am, it feels good.

Re: STEM is not "more autistic" than the humanities

2026-05-12T08:53:00+00:00

Response to STEM is not "more autistic" than the humanities

As an autistic person who is in humanities and art department, I completely agree. My "autism radar" can detect potentially autistic people in my cohort, many of them are in fact diagnosed and are open about it... perhaps because they too notice I am autistic. Autistic people have diverse interests, and contrary to popular beliefs, we do understand nuisances.

If anything, I would like to make a counterpoint. I believe people are too quick to label strangers "autistic". Autism entered the mainstream attention, which means many people group others who do not prescribe to social norms as "autistic". This is problematic in it self because the person may not be autistic, or want to be labeled due to social stigmas. Not to mention, autism is truly a spectrum. It does not mean everyone is "a little autistic", it means each person with autism are different.

"The study drew the conclusion that autistic people don't show exceptional creativity unless we also have ADHD; that to be creative, we need some sort of add-on to offset our Regular Old Autism."

The problematic view of autistic people as "robots" persists. We need to continue to challenge this notion. Many autistic children I work with are very empathetic, expressive, creative and sociable.

It is difficult to group all autistic person as the same because we are not the same. Having autism means the brain process things differently. Autistic people are not lesser or better than neurotypical people. Being different should not be the guideline for ablism.